A Jew walks into a bar. It's a bar full of Neo-Nazis.

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Why does a squirel swim on his back? Because it was trying to keep his nuts clean

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What's black and blue and made of poo? A drowning black guy, holding some blue poop

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Why did the Cookie Monster go to the Doctor? Because He had an inoperable tumor in his lower intestinal tract.

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whats worse then being married to your dog eating your dog out

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What's worst then leaving a public toilet when you just took a shit and the toilet is now clogged Realising that the maid was waiting for you to get out to clean the toilet...

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Say, "I have a really nice knock knock joke, but you have to start." To someone. They say knock knock You say who's there! and walk away.

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So an Alex Gedrose walks into a bar, and orders peanut butter and jelly toast on buttermilk with extra Linda on the side.

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Why did the man eat the cat? I don't remember the punchline, but trust me it was hilarious.

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will you like this joke my sources say no

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What is really hard around Kim Kardashian? Diamonds.

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DEAD ON KANE ITS BEEN ALL YOU ABD CAOIMHIN

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What did the cannibal order at McDonalds? Big Mac, extra pickle, hold the mayo.

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whats funnier then a joke on anit jokes pracitcally anything cause anti jokes repaeats and everyone has herd them

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Remember that part where Jesus gets angry at a fig three and kills it because it "was lazy" for refusing to grow figs at winter? Brother Jeez, that was kinda mean man! You know it was winter rite? Anti Joke or not, that part is funny, so if Jesus returns and wants you to make him a sammich you better go get that goddamn sammich!

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What did the nun eat for breakfast? Baseballs.

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everyone lies especially if they said agree to terms of service

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A blonde lady has a sore throat. Her colleague tells her that whenever she has a sore throat, she performs oral sex on her husband and swallows, and this cures the problem. The next day, the blonde comes into work. The colleague asks if she followed her advice, and the blonde says yes and it worked. The blonde also passes a message from her boyfriend thanking her colleague for the suggestion. The two sets of spouses eventually became close friends and were godparents to each others' children.

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I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

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What did the kid with cancer get for his birthday? Nothing he didnt make it that far

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Roses are grey Violets are grey Im a dog

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What did the flight attendant get for Christmas? A Trebuchet from medieval times dating back to the 12th Century CE.

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What do you get if you cross a bomb expert, and a homophobe a blow job

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knock knock whose there? penis penis who? penis want vagina

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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