Knock knock! Who's there? F*ck. F*ck who? F*ck you.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you do if a goose comes flying towards you? Duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How many baby's does it to paint a wall red? It depends how many you throw.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Your mum's so fat that she's incredibly lucky she has a loving and supportive husband who values her personality over her appearance.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Guy 1: Why does it smell like a wet dog? Guy 2: Because I smell like a wet dog

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What happens when you rub two penises together? Gay sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it is an animal without a high enough level of intelligence to see the dangers in doing so.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

knock knock go away!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why was the baby so hot? Napalm. Why was the baby so cold? Meat locker.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why does pavement get hot. Because it’s black. How could you tell she had bruises. Because they were black. Why did the boy drop out of school. Because he was dying of melanoma.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Who won the race between the turtle and the hare? Well, odds are the two creatures wouldn't race given that animals do not speak. However, if they were, the hare would most likely win a land race because of its powerful legs and agility. However, if the turtle happened to be a seaturtle and the race took place underwater, our dear little beloved turtle would win, having the advantage over the rabbit.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Well you should really try some.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Did you hear about the guy that told bad jokes? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Unfortually last night Andrew McNeil was studying soo hard that his head exploded and the next day at school, his friends found out and then cheered with laughter and happieness.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Nero, seriously, one way or the other, ill kill you, my mom blushes like every time people talk to her so fuck you, my sister if you touch her, ill.... Man, stop and ill forgive you, and I am very very sorry, now stop sending me those pics, and please do not post them anywhere, Line would not want to.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call a mexican who steals toasters? A mexican toaster thief.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

knock, knock who's there you yoohoo i don't like chocolate milk!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Two black guys are in a car. Who is driving? One of the black guys.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Where do dinosaurs go on vacation? Dinosaurs are mainly extinct except for a select few such as crocodiles, which are arguably ancestors of dinosaurs. With this in mind, dinosaurs do not go on vacation because they are dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

There are too many people in this bar, a man says. He then walks out of the bar and proceeds to visit his grandmother. Orange.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the woman make the man a sandwich? Because the man severed his spinal cord and is no longer able to move any of his limbs.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Two muffins are in an oven one muffin says to the other muffin "It's hot in here" the other muffin says "Holy crap a talking muffin".

thumb_up thumb_down +14

When is a great time to eat chicken fingers? Never Chickens dont have fingers therefore making it misnamed and impossible to eat them

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops