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i committed murder

Knock knock Who's there? Justin Bieber OH MY GOD REALLY?! No.

Knock, knock who's there? Steve Evans. Steve Evans who? You've already forgotten me? We just met on Eharmony yesterday.

Why did the accident happen? The breaks on the car stopped working. Why did the breaks stop working? The driver was drunk.

Bitch

What's an anti joke? Then I ate my digestive biscuit.

What is orange and sticky? A blue ice cream with no skeletal structure Hang on, Ice Creams don't talk and the ice cream wasn't even yellow!

How did freedom die in Europe? It was shot in the chest with a rifle.

What did the chubby, dirty, hobo get for Christmas? Cancer

How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one. Any more than that and they would just be getting in each others way.

Q:Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A:Because it wa dead!!!!!!

what do you call a sick eagle illegal

Bob: Say this word that I spell out. Jane: Ok Bob: N.I.N.A. Jane: Um...Nina? Bob: Correct. Now try N.I.N.O. Jane: Nino like el nino Bob: Good. How about N.I.N.E. Jane: Ninny? Bob: Hahaha wrong

whats funnier then a joke on anit jokes pracitcally anything cause anti jokes repaeats and everyone has herd them

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? She was too tired and was afraid that if she got behind the wheel it might cause her to fall asleep at the wheel which would result in an accident.

why did the boy fall off his bike? because his mum through a fridge at him

Whats worse than Sandy Hook Massacre? 9/11

I like poop in my butt

What is black, tastes like crap, lands in a toilet, feels soft and mushy, sometimes red, blue, yellow, purple and pink, feels very heavy. eats cookies, drinks soft drink and lights fires? A fat person in a coloured suit.

Why was the little boy crying? He had a frog stapled to his forehead. Why did the little boy have a frog stapled to his forehead? Because Johnny just can't drive. Why can't Johnny drive? He has no arms and legs. Why does Johnny have no arms and legs? Cause Johnny is a potato! Why did Timmy drop his ice cream? Because he got ran over by a bus. But who was driving the bus? Johnny the potato!

A grandfather clock fucked my bicycle!

Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause it wanted to

Tell me fuck you Fuck you No fuck your mum

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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