Two Pigs are in a bath. One pig says to the other "pass me the soap", to which the other pig replies "Do I look like a typewriter?"

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Yo mama's so fat, I gave her a compliment because we should embrace body acceptance.

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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What's worst then getting struck by lightening? your face.whats worse then seeing your face? NOTHING

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whats big, white and will kill someone if it falls out of a tree? a refridgerater

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why was the little girl crying? Because her family was dead

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prison isnt fun it also is bland kidnapping is a crime but get in the van

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So you keep your knowledge sharp do you? When it comes to hypnosis and such?

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Why did the Jewish cross the road? He didn't he died in Holocaust.

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There is my brain said the English man stop leaving it in the fridge and let me mug you now get in the car OK!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side XD

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what did the orange say to the apple? hi

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god."

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how do you make a plumber cry? you pull its pants up

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What is black and blue and red all over? My wife.

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How I Met Your Mother, starring Oedipus Rex

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Knock knock Whos there your son your son who holy shit dad just let me in

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What is the connection between a blonde and a halogen headlamp? There is none, one is a female human being with blonde hair and the other is a headlamp with a halogen lightbulb.

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A man walks into a bar, the bartender says, "why the long face?" the man replies, "my wife has terminal cancer and has been given 2 weeks to live."

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Two Black Males walk into a bar. A white old lady leaves cautiously. Everyone else stays and has a great time with them as they are actually two very good guys, and funny too.

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how do goldfishes drown? you pull them backward water fills there lung and there die

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What is the difference between a boyscout and a Jew? Boys outs come home from camp.

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Why did the black guy drink the kool aid? Because there was a glass of kool aid next to him and he was thirsty.

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What do you call a orphan with no arms or legs in the middle of the ocean? Scrood

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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