How did the deaf girl die? I beeped but she didnt hear me

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Q: What did the Jew get for Christmas? A: Nothing you dumbass, Jews don't celebrate Christmas.

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knock knock whos there I AM YOUR MOTHER!!!!

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What is green and if it fell on you from a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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I'm not racist. Racism is a crime, and crime is for black people.

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what is pink and shaped like a banana? A pink banana.

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what did the boy with cancer get for Christmas a pair of shoes

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

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my friend died in a car crash, now i have no friends.

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How did the cookie monster die? Diabidies

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How do you get a one-armed Polish man out of a tree? With a ladder.

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Whats funny about a blonde, brunette and red-head stranded on an island? Nothing. They are in a very dangerous survival situation, which could prove to be fatal

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Why did the blonde girl drink lots of water? Because the fat comments got to her and she changed her diet to nothing but water

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Why did the chicken cross the road? he has an iq of 5 like all chickens

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what do you call 4 black people pushing a car uphill? unfortunate

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I used to be into necrophilia, bestiality, and sado-masochism; but then I realized I was just beating a dead horse.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? poke her face.

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that green thing is not a leaf, it's my sister

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what's 2 + 2 ? 4, unless you add it up wrong.

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What did the man with a cold say when a jew walked into a bar? Hahaha you walked into a bar. What did the man with a cold say when a jew walked into a pub? AHH-JOOOOO!!!

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What has two legs and bleeds between them? The back half of a dog with a deep cut in its belly.

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A man walks into a bar with a giant banana as a head and the bartender asks why he has a giant banana as a head and the man says get me a drink and i will explain, the bartender got the man a drink and he started to explain why, so i found this real nice golden lamp and i rubbed it next thing you know this genie pops out and he said i get three wishes the first one he wishes for unlimited wealth with a snap of the genies fingers the wish came true next he wished to be the most handsome man ever with a spin and a snap the wish came true but this is where it went wrong, I said to the genie and i cant believe he got me with this one (because genies always put a twist on things) i said: i wish for my head to be a banana

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Unfortunately there are billions of chickens in the world and based on the question it is not possible to determine which specific chicken is being referred to. Even if we were able to ascertain this knowledge it would be unlikely that we could determine its purpose, as chickens don't usually make decisions based on logical thought.

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A black man, a mexican man, and a caucasian man, walk into a bar with handguns. The three break out into a gun fight and everyone is killed in the cross-fire

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops