Johnny: I saw you long time ago. You were quite the school clown back in the day. Boy I remember back when I was just a whipper snapper we used play around and goof around all day. Whatdya think? Richard: Shut up, motherfuckingbitch

why wont chin ever take his hat off because his head will be cold

What's Worse Than World War I 2 World War I's

How much cabbage is in sean's teeth? lots, like it's rotting in there

An englishman, a scotsman and an irishman walk into a bar together. They sit down at the bar, and the barman says, "What is this, some kind of joke?!"

I read the terms of service.

Kittens are orange, puppies are grey, and they both make good pets

how do you kill a blonde with a pistol Put the clip in and shoot her

Sammy bought 48 donuts. He ate 36. What was Sammy left with? Diabetes. Sammy was left with diabetes.

What do you call a rabbit with carrots in its ears? Anything, it can't hear you!

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was the only way to get across

Why did the Hispanic woman cheat on her husband? Because he couldn't maintain an erection, was boring, and collected stamps.

A devout Christian dies. Peter winks as his soul passes through the impenetrable Gates of Heaven. Everyone is gay and– like, gay as in happy– Fags aren't allowed in Heaven.

Shut up max im not fucking demented u dickhead

The teacher asks Timmy "why is your cat at school today?" Timmy says, crying, "Because I heard my daddy say to my mommy, 'I'm going to eat that pussy when the kids leave.' so I'm saving him!"

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are camping out. After they set up their tent and get inside to go to sleep, they look up at the stars. Holmes asks Watson to make a deduction. "Well, Holmes, I think it's highly probable that other planets outside our own, among those many stars up there, could have sentient life." Holmes points up and says, "Someone stole our tent, you idiot."

a boy jumps off a building why? because he's afraid of heights

Q: What's worse than ten dead babies nailed to one tree? A: One baby nailed to ten trees.

How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? Using teamwork and coordination, each can place one foot on the seat of the stool, and using each other for balance and support, they can all stand on the stool. The fact that they are gay is irrelevant.

what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? wheres my tractor

OMG I was sexting my friend and I accidentally sent my naked picture to my parents. What do I do? Tell your friend that you accidentally sent your naked picture to your parents.

Homo say what?

Two men walk into a bar. An hour later another man sees them knocked out on the ground. Q: What Happened A: They walked into a BAR.

What did Sir Mix a lot say to the girl with a big butt? Your very beautiful.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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