How did 3 fat women fit under 1 small umbrella and not get wet? It wasn't raining!

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A man walked into a bar and a knife seventeen times.

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You want to hear a joke? Republican

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Who is the dumbest person on the entire internet? Shortpoet-GTD

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Whats worse than stubbing your toe? Sandy hook

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Two peanuts are walking down the street. One of them was a salted Peanut

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blonde: your cute Gangster: wanna go back to my crib blonde: you mean you can go back in time?

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a blonde takes 1 hour to swim 100m of breaststroke.

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what is the worst thing a bout four black men driving a Cadillac off a cliff? they were my friends

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What did the cow say to the dog? Moo

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Michael Vick walks into a pet shop. He buys a puppy and cares for it lovingly

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Knock Knock Who's there? A kind hearted serial killer who will win your heart emotionally and then shoot you to death unexpectedly.

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whats the difference between harry potter and a jew? harry potter can escape the chamber

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What's the difference between a black man and a large pizza? The black man is a human being with all of man's well-deserved rights, and the large pizza is an edible item. Furthermore, the black man, if adult and employed, has the propensity to feed a family of four far longer than a large pizza can.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasnt that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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What do you call the offspring of an elephant? A baby elephant.

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What did the dog say when the tiger bit him? Nothing. Dogs don't talk.

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Whats the difference between a boy scout and a jew? A boy scout gets to come home after camp.

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What did the foreigners do to pass time? They blew up the twin towers.

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#IsaiahAfterAD&B

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Why did little Katie fall off her bike? Because the postman killed the bee hive.

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What do Kurt Cobain and a whale have in common? Both have holes in the back of their heads

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whats big, white and will kill someone if it falls out of a tree? a refridgerater

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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