Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but an orange gourd. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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Knock Knock, Who's There? Not Ann Frank because she died in the Holocaust along with 6 million other innocent people.

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who needs to get a different hairstyle to his boyo? josh roberts

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What's short, white, and is sick and tired of your shit? A toilet. What's white and killed Elvis? Also a toilet.

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What's the difference between a horse and a chicken? They're different species and also the chicken is female, while the horse I was referring to is male.

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why can't timmy tie his shoes? Because timmy's an earth-worm

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One man asked another man what his favorite sport was. The man replied: " My favorite sport is golf." "Golf requires no physical strength, therefore I do not count it as a sport." Said the man who asked the question.

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What did the Rabbi say when the Priest asked how his family was? The Rabbi breaks into tears as he explains his family was killed in the Holocaust.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, Dandelions are red, I lit your garden on fire.

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Roses are red, violets are red, sunflowers are red, HOLY CRAP, MY GARDENS ON FIRE!

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What's worse than dropping a dollar down the drain? Getting a needle shoved up your penis and it scrapes the insides of your balls open so that all of the sperm pours out of your balls and you are screaming in agony and you can never have children in the future.

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what do you call 100 muslims on a plane? Passengers

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An anteatter walks into a bar, the bar tender says "hey renee zellweger"

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I heard an awesome joke last night. I cannot remember it.

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Yo' Mommas so poor, She has to ask close family friends and relatives for money so she can feed you.

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kennah campion when she talks

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I C U P White stuff

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What's white and black and red all over A nun with a spear throug her head

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A man walks into a bar. He says ouch.

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Why is the man's nose bleeding? Because I punched him in the nose. He looked at me funny.

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Q:What did the duck say to the other duck A:We are both ducks

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knock knock knocking on heavens douoor

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What's red and green And moves at 300mph A frog in a blender

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Today I'll wear a hat on my head Instead of a shoe.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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