Why did Justin Bieber wake up Lady Gaga? He needed to ask her a question.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

A man was walking through the woods when he comes across a little girl crying by a lake. "What is the matter little girl?" he asked. "My cat fell in the lake ... and it couldn't swim ... so my father jumped in as well and drowned too," she cried," Sad, the man sighed, pulled down his pants and said, "Well I guess today's just not your day,"

thumb_up thumb_down -35

what did Russell wilson get for Christmas a seahawk..

thumb_up thumb_down -35

once upon a time a guy thought he wrote an original anti joke but it wasnt

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What do you call a black man with no legs? A fine example of the consequences of drink driving. Make sure you are physically stable or not under the effects of depressants, drugs or any form of alcohol before deciding to use a motor vehicle.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What did the dog say to the tree? Bark.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Q: Why did Captain Kirk suck his own dick? A: Nobody else was around, I guess.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

a teacher walked into a bar and when he walked out he went to his car and proceeded to take notes about the bible, not realising he's supposed to be writing notes from his English book... he's dyslexic and got punched in the eye while he was in the bar; did i mention he doesn't drink?

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Why was the man in a great deal of pain? Because he was hit in the face with a sack of potatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Why did hitler kill the Jews? Because he had sever mental illnesses and anyone who thinks the holocaust is funny deserves to die a slow death.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What's black and blue and made of poo? A drowning black guy, holding some blue poop

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Why did the accident happen? The breaks on the car stopped working. Why did the breaks stop working? The driver was drunk.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

How I Met Your Mother, starring Oedipus Rex

thumb_up thumb_down -35

penis in the camel

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Why did the little boy cry and run home from the store? Because the store was out of pickles.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

It's likely that very few people will read this.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What's worse than getting a F on your History test? The millions of children around your age that cannot even afford to go to school, most likely because they live in a third world country.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

A guy walks into a bar. He must have been blind or something.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

chuck noris- can swim through land god- can walk on watter i- can run on air

thumb_up thumb_down -37

A man starts acting weird in a resturant, the waiter says "whats the problem sir?" The man says "I'm choking and I just died."

thumb_up thumb_down -37

How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Q: Why did the dead baby cross the road??? A: It was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

"Spell 'horse'" "H-O-U-Z-E" "No, that's incorrect. You failed the spelling test, you stupid fool."

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? She was too tired and was afraid that if she got behind the wheel it might cause her to fall asleep at the wheel which would result in an accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops