What is white, red, and all in your girlfriend? red and white blood cells

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I'm a Banker. A woman asked if I could check her balance... So I pushed her off a cliff.

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i was born with 99 medical problems, and the difficulty to count till 100.

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It's all shits and giggles until someone giggles and shits.

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What is the difference between menstrual blood and sand? You can't gargle sand.

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A priest, a rabbi and a mullah walk into a bar. The bartender looks at the three, laughs and says "Please leave now, God is dead"

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Whats the difference between a boy scout and a jew? A boy scout gets to come home after camp.

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What do you get when you cross a shark and a squid Nothing thats impossible

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who do we all like george goodburn

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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a blonde takes 1 hour to swim 100m of breaststroke.

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how come the tadpoles dad told him he can't be a nurse? he has 2 b a frog!

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What do Kurt Cobain and a whale have in common? Both have holes in the back of their heads

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What is the same about a Duck and a Pickle? Neither of them can ride a bike.

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How do you drown in a tea cup? You find a big enough tea cup.

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How do you stop a bus from hitting you?? You throw small children to impede the progress of the bus.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he frickin wanted to!!!!!!

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What were the muslims doing on the plane? Probably going somewhere that was too far to walk or drive.... just like everyone else on the plane.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Umm... Why would it not?

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how does chuck norris eat an apple Just like every other person

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Q: Who was shot 50 years ago? A: Abraham Lincoln was shot 50 years ago! (=

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge asked "Mum, why is my name Fridge?" to which she replied "Because you deserve to be in one."

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Knock Knock Who's there? Hello there. I am Elder Young and I with the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. What would you say if someone were to offer you peace and happiness through all of eternity?

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops