http://cache.deadspin.com/assets/resources/2008/04/Deer_mating2.jpg

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

What did the mother say to her son when she saw his report card? I don't know. I wasn't there.

How did the man die? He was killed alive.

Yo mama is so old, that it's becoming apparent that she is most likely developing severe senial dementia

What do you call a Mexican guy in America? A Mexican American

black people

I like my coffee like i like my women, blonde with big boobs.

A friend of mine said; the only vegetables that makes you cry are oignons. that was before I hit him with a watermelon

Why did the chicken cross the road? To try and get hit by a car.

roses are red violets are blue i've got alzheimer's ...

How many times do you have to make an ass of yourself before you look like a retard and thinking ''random'' means funny? Fuck yourself HAHAHAHAHA seriously stahp

You know you are really drunk if your blood alcohol Is higher than .08

why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was scary.. made by Kevin Kool

What did the rugby post say to the tree? Good evening George!

what do you get when you cross a puma and a turkey? A horrible abomination of life that begs to be killed.

whats black, white, and bloody all over? i don't know, but we should stop making jokes and help it already.

What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas ? A treadmill

A frog and a toad eat a pie and then realize it is weird and then die.

Theres this black guy who goes to a gun shop and buys a .45 and then goes to get a permit and uses it responsibly....

What's worse then failing a math test? Your mom getting shot

What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff.

What is the difference between a park bench and a Mexican? The park bench can actually suport a family A. Woj

yo mamma so fat that when she goes out in high heels she comes back in flip flops

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...