- Anti Joke

When SCUBA diving, why is it important to fall backward off the side of the boat? Because if you fell forward, you would still be in the boat.

A bison trots into a bar. The bartender says, "My pee makes bubbles in the toilet." Amazed by the urination fact, the bison explodes.

How do you confuse Helen Keller? You don't, she's dead.

What did the terrorist do to the small village? Destroy it with a bomb vest.

Why did the chicken cross the road I don't know

John had 50 candy bars and he ate 45 what does he have...... Diabeaties

how do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it's face

Whats brown and a fag? A bundle of sticks

How do you entertain a bored pharaoh? (written in 1600 BCE - Westcar Papyrus) -You sail a boatload of young women dressed only in fishing nets down the Nile and urge the pharaoh to go catch a fish

What did one lion say to the other lion? Nothing. There was no other lion. This particular lion had horrible social anxiety so he spent most of his time alone, eating buffalo poop and playing World of Warcraft thus further alienating himself from the other lions. He was a very lonely lion.

When life gives you lemons you squirt them in someones eyes and steal what life gave them.

whats the stage after cancer? you die

Chose to describe yourself: Green thumb: Tall wealthy, good looking, intelligent man with a model wife, a ferrari expensivo, a hotel just for yourself. Red thumb: A below average piece of shit? Green thumb? Dont lie to me you piece of sh*t!

A life-sized cardboard cut out of Justin Bieber was in a contest with a cut out of Liam Neeson. It was stiff competition.

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What's black, white and red all over? A race war

have you seen Stevie wonders car? No Neither has he

knock knock who's there? banana well that's an odd name. banana then began to break down in tears because his parents were constant drug abusers and gave him that name while they were high

Knock, knock. Who's there? Gestapo.

have you seen stevie wonder's house. no? Well nethier has he you

Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Green paint.

What"s pink and fluffy? Pink fluff.

What's worse than a dog peeing on your new flower garden? A terrorist attack.

What did the frat guy drink after he lifted? A various assortment of beverages that were chilled at a cool 66 degrees.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops