Roses are brown Violets are brown Who pooped in my garden?

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I didn't use protection So here's your baby

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What's the difference between shoes and babies? You can't eat shoes.

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What doesn't kill you leaves you in a coma.

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Why doesn't the man like iced tea? Because he likes it hot.

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Why are people so quiet at golf game? Because its such a boring sport.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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I went to school. Then I came home.

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What do you call a group that has a microphone, a bass, two guitars and a drum kit? A Band

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What has four legs and a tail? A table with a tail

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A Jew, a black man and a Christian enter a bar. Black people werent allowed in at the time so he was escorted out. The Jew And Christian have a blast and the time of their lives that night.

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Santa Clause, a smart blonde, and the Queen of England all jump out of a plane, which hits the ground first? Galileo's theory tells us that all objects fall at the same speed regardless of weight, so they all hit simultaneously.

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Anti-jokes are funny.

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Why did the Fly die? Cause it died the average life span is 30 days.

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Why did the man go to Lourdes Because he has lost all hope

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Knock Knock. Come in.

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What do you get when you cross a badger and a paper bag? The badger is cross of course but the bag is inanimate and can't be angered.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot lost control of the plane.

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How do you burn alot of calories? Set a fat kid on fire

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Q; What's the new slogan for the TSA? We handle more junk than EBay.

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What's worse than rotten eggs? Being dead.

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What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

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A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette have a contest to see who can get the most likes on their profile pictures. They are all attention-whores.

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A bloke walks into a bar. He doesn't say 'ouch' because it was a public house and not a hard surfaced object as you may have thought initially

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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