A horse walks into a bar, the bartenders asks "Why the long face?"

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: What do is it called when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? A: Why give it a name when it is never goin to happen!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A boy walks into his friend's house for a party. While he waits for his friends to return from the bar he realizes there are many people waiting in different lines for various kinds of drinks. After his friends return he decides he does not want any of the carbonated drinks they had ordered, instead he chooses to wait in the fruit punch line. There is no punch line.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

There is a hawk and a squirrel sitting in a tree. a farmer walks by with a strange package so the hawk turns to the squirrel and says nothing because he is an animal and incapable of speech, he then eats the squirrel because he is a bird of prey.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Yo Mama is so poor, she can barely keep a steady income and cannot support her family of 10 even with support of food stamps and wel fair and will probably die soon due to diabetees because she wasted her food stamps on food that is bad for the average persons diet and due to a lack of exercise. I am worried about her she seems very depressed due to her wight and fatality outlooks and you should probably direct her to your local clinic to make sure she is OK and try to help her with her weight mangment problems. I am scarred for you and your family and I wanted to make sure you are ok and are doing well in education and are on track for a very bright future probably going to a universety which you will pay for with student loans from a bank in the local area. I am extremely worried so are you OK with all of those things I said before and if you are not I can help you get onto the right track and your mom can have a happier longeer life filled with fun happinnes wisdom life and other things like peace and forgivness for all people should get that it is part of our natural human rights and we deserve such things I speak of. Are you ok and does your life apply to thing things I have said in the past couple of motivational minuites. ''get the fu^k off porch''

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all stuck on a desert island together. They eventually succumb to dehydration and heat exhaustion. They lasted five days.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why was six afraid of 7? Because 7 was a terrorist.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the hardest part of walking through a pile of dead babies? My penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

You know whats funny? Women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the boy fall off of the swing? Because he had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did Jesse's friend say to Jesse? Hello Jesse

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's slippery when wet? A wet slipper.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did a mass amount of people move to Florida? They came to murder their children and get away with it.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what happens when an Asian and a Jew get married. They have children.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q:What did Batman say to Robin just before they got into the Batmobile? A:"Robin get in the Batmobile"

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Roses are red, violets are blue, can I have a ball? No these can't be removed

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what does nba stand for? Nothing but Africans

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How does a man with no arms and legs get to your door. After asking his name please help us out with this question

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's sad about Justin bieber getting thrown off of a cliff Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock knock, COME IN!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did Michael Jackson get so many nose jobs? He was incredibly insecure.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why can't Amy winehouse drive? She's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops