What did the old man say after he fell down? nothing.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? If a wood chuck could chuck wood, it would depend on whether it wanted to or not. If it did want to, it could potentially chuck an infinite amount of wood in its lifetime

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roses are red violets are blue maskrosor are gula

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Nero, I can barely stay awake, can we chat more later today though? I would really enjoy that, and sleep before that.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, and so do I.

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Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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Why couldn't the man ever reach his dream of becoming a professional athlete? He was pronounced with Alzheimer at a young age and could never remember his dream the next day.

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Why was the prison full of black people? Because they were all their for security internships.

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what do you call a black man who bakes bread? a baker. you racist.

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What's the best thing about having sex with twenty six year old's? I am twenty one and prefer older ladies as I find them more experienced and mature.

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How can humans fly? Well if you run and jump of a cliff...nevermind you would just smash your face on the ground. I guess that isn't technically flying.

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why did the homeless man die? because everyone does.

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Knock Knock Nobody Nobody who? Nobody, did you not hear what I just said.

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What do you call a black woman working at a bar? A Bartender. What do you call an asian woman working at a bar? A Bartender.

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I would piss if alex berry had aids n died

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Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Everything is Red, I have a retinal hemorrhage

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Q: What's green, red, and covered in cookie crumbs? A: A dead girl scout.

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If I had a dollar for every time I heard a 'women's rights' joke I'd be bill gates.

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What did the frog say when it was attacked? Ribbit.

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breasts

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How many kleptomaniacs does t take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? Sara had no arms! Knock knock? Who's there? Not Sara!

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What's the worst subject in school? None of them. You need school to get by in life. Get over it.

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A Muslim walks into a bar, and has a pint of lager because he has chosen to integrate into his host country's culture. He then leaves without incident.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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