how do you break up with someone lightly and not hurt their feeling I dont want to hurt your feeling but i hate you

thumb_up thumb_down +6

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple. finding half of regis philbin in your apple...

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q:Whats yellow and white and sits at the bottom of a pool? A: A baby with slashed floaties Q:Whats red and gory and sits at the top of a pool? A: Floaties with a slahed baby

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's black and white and red all over? A mime that got hit by a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

The other day a male African American approached me in a less than reputable neighborhood after dark and inquired as to whether or not I had a dollar which I could spare. I politely told him I didn't and apologized. He forgave me and we went our seperate ways.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Ed has spent all his days on the farm. It was the farm of his father and grandfather before him; long have they prospered from the fruits of this land. He has a wife and 3 beautiful children, all of whom live happily on the farm. Ed still manages to keep an active social life, and has lots of interesting friends. His best friend is Moe. As a young man, Ed had spent a few years living in the city for his studies. Moe lives in the city, and he knows Ed from College. One day, Moe came out to the farm to have lunch with his old friend. After lunch, he and Ed took a walk around the farm. They passed by the horses, the chickens, the pigs and finally they came to the cows. Ed looked at Moe, and he saw that he was focused intently on a single cow. "What's the matter, Moe?" he asked. "That," Moe said, "is one skinny cow."

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Little molly says she wants to have a baby when she grows up because her little baby brother died of ta-sacs 6 months after birth.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

how do you have sex? i dont know im under age!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

why did jimmy fall of of the tractor? Because he is a potato

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: what's worse than getting the flu? A: getting cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +6

person 1: hey! guess what? person 2: what? person 1: i once saw a brown polar bear

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

If an ugly person got raped. What would that be called? Nothing. It is never gonna happen. Kelvin Yang.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Whats the difference between Qantas and Malaysia Airlines? Qantas only looses money.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why is my penis rainbow colored?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A paralyzed person walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

pobody's nerfect

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a dog that can't pass an Algebra test? A dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A horse walked into a bar. The bartender asked, "Why the long face?" The horse said nothing because it doesn't understand human language.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says 'Why the long face?' The horse says 'My alcoholism is destroying my family.'

thumb_up thumb_down +6

why did Michael Jackson cross the road? He didnt he is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A wild Snorlax appeared crushing several members of the community

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why were the police chasing the black man? Because he was in such a poor financial state that the bank foreclosed his house and now he has no source of income and therefore no way to purchase basic living requirements, so he was forced to steal in order to provide food for his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a bag of dead babies? A: I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops