I'm not saying my mother-in-law is fat, because she is anorexic.

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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Chuck Norris once jumped off of a 9 story building. He broke half of the bones in his body because he is 71 years old.

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I like my coffee how I like my women Without a penis

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Q.What happens when Torres scores A. He doesn't

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I came to the bar at 7:00. What time did I leave at? There was no clock at the bar I went to, therefore i cannot determine when I left or when I cmae, so my above opinion is clearly incorrect.

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How long can penguins hold their breath underwater? Long enough for you to eat a baby and then cover for it.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping in Milwaukee? They woke him up.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? -absolut vodka Well, you have a sirious drinking problem...

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it

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what is worse finding a worm in your apple? Finding a grub in your apple.

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An atom walks into a bar. Did it grow legs?

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A man walks into a bar...so what? People do it all the time.

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What do you get if you cross a river with a cat? Wet.

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What’s big, grey, has wrinkly skin, and a trunk? An elephant. Oh, you’ve heard this one.

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A farmer accidentally trips his wife. She falls down the stairs and the farmer is quickly arrested for murder.

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Cover myself in Vaseline and cry in the dark for 4, maybe 5 hours with or without a wooden splintery dildo in my arse..”

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What is better than tissues? Correct!

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How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Yarn

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Why'd the clown fall out of the tree? it died. Why'd the cat fall out of the tree? it died Why'd the chicken fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the clown

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Q:why did jimmy fall of a swing? A:Because someone threw a fridge at him

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What do you call a fat, ugly kid? An unloved child.

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when life throws you lemons you should watch out or you might get hurt.

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A king's son's birthday was coming up and the king asked,"Son i'm the king. You can have anything you want." And the son said,"Oh i'll have some purple ping pong balls." For his birthday he got a rollar coster, a pizzaria, a new car, and of corse, some purple ping pong balls. The next year the king asked,"Son, i'm the king, you can have anything you want." and the son said,"Oh i'll have some purple ping pong balls." And for his birthday he got a manchin, an iphone, a water park, and of corse some purple ping pong balls. One day, the prince was driving in his car and was in a terrible car accadent. On his death bed, his father asked him one final question,"Son, why did you want all of those purple ping pong balls?" And the son answered,"Well, i wanted all of them because-" and then he died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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