Q: What do you get when you cross a cactus and a platypus? A: I was wondering the same thing.

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How hot was the blonde considering she was in Africa for the first time and it was 103 degrees, very

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Q: What happened to the fat man on the roller coaster A: The roller coaster went slightly faster due to the laws of gravity

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Two muffins are sitting in a oven, The other muffin says to the other muffin nothing, Because muffins are unable of human conversation.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have ADD Hey look, a squirrel!!

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What did the old man say after he fell down? nothing.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? If a wood chuck could chuck wood, it would depend on whether it wanted to or not. If it did want to, it could potentially chuck an infinite amount of wood in its lifetime

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What's worse then the bomb that went off in boston? The second one right after.

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Chuck Norris walks in to a bar then many people greet him because of his celebrity status.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting your car repossessed.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not answer because he is a horse, and neither speaks nor understands the english language. He looks around, and is confused by his surrondings. He gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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A train conducter conducts goes at 60mph, when he goes under a bridge he goes at 52mph. When he goes over a hill he goes at 47mph. If he goes under 3 bridges and over 6 hills what did the conductors mother eat for dinner that night. Nothing, after many months of suffering she died from Huntington's disease.

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Got in a Taxi and the driver said "You'll never guess who i had in the back of my cab the other day". I said "It's probably pointless me trying to guess then ".

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What do you call a man whos had his arms ripped off in front of you? An ambulance, because with an injury such as this, you can die anywhere between 10 and 45 minutes

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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What the difference between a black person and a piece of shit in a bucket? The bucket

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One,two,skip a few... five,six,seven,eight...(and so on ad infinitum)

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm a skitsofrantic, and so am I

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your mom. Just kidding, it's the pizza guy. Pizza guy who?

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Obesity runs in your family. To bad no one runs in your family.

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Knock Knock Who's There The police, your under arrest.

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Two peanuts were walking down the street..........pepper.

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Why do beavers have flat tails? They don't know but their relatives certainly get upset

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A horse walks into a bar and Shits John Taffer is Pissed

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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