What is the only non-racist animal? The mexican panda. Why? It's black, white, hispanic, and asian.

thumb_up thumb_down

An over weight person is diagnosed with anorexia they used to be fatter

thumb_up thumb_down

Man: Did It Hurt Woman: Did what hurt? Man: When your legs were crushed after being run over by that semi

thumb_up thumb_down

A man asks his wife to make him a sandwich, she proceeds to make a sandwich using rye bread, lettuce, two slices of tomatoes, a variety condiments, mustard and several slices of American cheese. The man eats the sandwich at a parade with his wife celebrating Woman's Rights.

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: where was Johnny during the bombing? A: everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down

how many Arabs and Jews can you fit on a bus? The bus in question is a 56 seater,so 56. If you cram some people in the aisles you could probably fit 65 if you didn't care about anyone's comfortability sheesh you might even for in 100 or more.

thumb_up thumb_down

What worse than being shot? Waking up and finding a penis in your mouth.

thumb_up thumb_down

YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse world in which we live.

thumb_up thumb_down

knock knock who's there? Jehovah's witness GOOD BYE!

thumb_up thumb_down

Is that a banana in your pocket, or do you just have an erection?

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

thumb_up thumb_down

what did the teacher say to his student? do your work.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the kid hide under the table? There was an earthquake.

thumb_up thumb_down

A serial killer walks into a bar... He is finally arrested after killing several people within the bar, goes to court, and it was decided that he is suffering from a rare case of maddening schizophrenia, and sent indefinitely to a mental hospital...

thumb_up thumb_down

A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen and warns him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and otherwise damaging consequences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

thumb_up thumb_down

Justin Bieber walks into a bar. He is soon kicked out as he is underage.

thumb_up thumb_down

A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor performs the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: Whats worse than being raped by a giant scorpion A: Getting raped by three giant scorpion's

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call a boy with no arms and legs? Simply a pillow

thumb_up thumb_down

What's the difference between a horse and a chicken? They're different species and also the chicken is female, while the horse I was referring to is male.

thumb_up thumb_down

0000000010000000000000001000000000000000000000011111111000000000111111000000000000000000011111000000000000011100000000000000000000000000000000100000000000000000000000000000000000000001000000000000000000000000000000000000000011100000000000000000000000000000000000000111100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001111111111111111100000000000000000000000001000000000000001000000000000000000000000001000000000000100000000000000000000000000001111111111111000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 SMILE

thumb_up thumb_down

What do a grape and an elephant have in common? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? I shot him in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down

why did the man stop his bike he was having a heart attack

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops