what do you call a dumb blonde with no arms? Her name because she will not respond to anything else

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Why do you call a person who spits in your cheeseburger? A mean person

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Where did Mary go when the bomb blew up? Everywhere.

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Q: Where did Sarah go when the bomb exploded? A: Everywhere.

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How many pastry chefs does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. It's a fairly simple job.

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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5 little monkeys jumping on the bed 1 fell off and broke it's skull. Momma told the doctor and the doctor said,"Your a bad mom."

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What did god say to Jesus. "Dude, she's not a virgin"

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If pro- is good or favored and con- is bad, then why do people favor the constitution and stay away from prostitution?

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hey I just met you, and this is crazy. I have alzheimers. Hey i just met you.

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Man: Am i going to be alright? Doctor: No, you're going to die.

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Why isn't Billy Mays on TV anymore? Beacause Billy Mays was in a tradgic accident where a bowling ball fell on his head, and a couple days later he died of head trama. His family can't bear to hear his voice anymore.

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Why did the kids put pirahnas in Mr. Hermann's fish tank? So they could eat him.

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What does the Bill in Bill Clinton stand for? Bilious.

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Barack Obama.

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Why did the plane crash? Cause the pilot was a loaf of bread

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That would mean that you are not its leader, or that you are, the result would have been the same, if you are the "head honcho" they would have gone for you, and your employees. Now, if you are an employee, they would have gone for your leader, and of course you. So between us and nobody else really its fucking antijoke, are you the leader?

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? I don't a Ferrari in my garage

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? The pilot. You racist.

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what's body surfing? sounds dumb.

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Why did the girl scream? She was being raped.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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What do you call a guy with no arms and legs buried 6 feet under the ground? Doug What do you call a guy with no arms and legs buried 3 feet under the ground? Douglas

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Yo momma so fat, when she walks she wakes the dead -Ryan Vallee

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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