At 1:00AM, an old man is woken up by a knocking on the door. 'Knock knock' 'Who's there' 'An orange' The man opens the door to find a talking orange on his doorstep. The man remembers he has Schizophrenia and goes back to sleep.

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Why does life hand you lemons? Because it sucks enough, so it wants you to have some.

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whats worse than failing your maths test?

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Two penguins sitting in a bath tub. One says, "Pass the soap." The other says, "What do you think I am, a clock!?!?"

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My friend just phoned me from the Boston marathon. He was being taken to the hospital due to being injured by the explosions and had to have his leg amputated.

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Why can't hank swim? Hank is a rock.

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What did the raped girl say to the doctor? Nothing she was dead on arrival.

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Q: What's worse than a worm in you're apple... A: The fact that you have all-timers and can't remember...

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

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Vagina (Note: If you are gay just move on by.)

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TWO PADDIES PASS A PUB

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What happened to the old lady with a hat? She fell down

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what's worse than than finding a worm up your ass? Death

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A termite walks intio a bar, looks the lovely timber bar up and down, and wonders out loud..."where's the bar tender?"

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I'd tell you a joke about Uganda but it wouldn't be worth it as it probably would keep a low score and possibly even get deleted for staying a week with a negative rating, for a number of reasons including that it isn't particularly funny, it was copied from another website and it is slightly racist. Taking into account what most people look for in a joke, it doesn't necessarily meet their needs and would more than likely fall into a lame category. And for that reason I have not submitted it.

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a blonde, brunette and a red head are all goin to jump off a bridge and turn into something. the brunette jumps and says fish, and she turns into a fish. the red head says eagle and becomes an eagle. the blonde gets a running start, but then trips on the way off and she says shit and turns into a piece of shit.

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Kid hands Lebron a dollar, asks for change Lebron hands him back 4 quarters.

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what do you get when you combine sodium and hydroxide? sodium-hydroxide

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How did little Tommy die? i pushed him into the deep end of the pool

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Ask me if i'm a serial killer Are you a serial killer? Yes and I killed your family

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What did one penguin-necrophiliac say to another penguin-necrophiliac? Nothing. Penguins cant talk.

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That's funnier than a zebra climbing the Eiffel tower with Bill Clinton on the 4th night of quanza

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Roses are blue Violets are red What happened to the gay man? He listened to Justin Beiber And then was straight

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I was about to do an triathlon, but i took an arrow to the knee. It got infected and i promptly died two days later.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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