A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

Nina and Harry sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G, first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes divorce because their marriage didn't turn out right and Harry hit Nina in the head with a iron...

What's the difference between a man and a woman? The latter has two additional letters added to the beginning.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "why the long face" The bartender then sees the horse's broken leg and proceeds to buy him a free drink.

What do you get when you hit a deer? A dead deer, which you should probably take home to eat - wouldn't want it to go to waste.

Little molly says she wants to have a baby when she grows up because her little baby brother died of ta-sacs 6 months after birth.

What's green and fuzzy, has 4 legs, and if it falls from a tree it'll kill you? A pool table.

What is annoying and uses another language? Spanish class!

Q: What is usually black , is a rectangle and has two circles? A: An i pod touch 4

How do you stop a rhino from charging? An ak-47

whats worse than a repeated antijoke the people that complain about them

what happens when a retard hits an iceberg with a gigantic boat? 1517 people die.

A man walks into a bar,gets a drink, and then leaves.

what's funnier than a pile of dead babies? pretty much everything because dead babies aren't a laughing matter

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Before you sneeze Say PIK-Achoo

What do you call a white guy with 5 black guys. The owner of a basketball team

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer caught it.

Yo mama's so fat, she died of a mixture of obesity and type 1 diabetes.

Q: I have a bed, but never sleep, I have a mouth, but never speak. What am I? A: Stephen Hawking

What did the kid in the wheelchair get for Christmas? AIDS.

What has many legs, but can't walk? A dead spider.

So the word RAPING does not work unless you type it in caps? Raping... Did it censor? No? Never mind then... Wow, catchphra Never mind... Its a sign X-files theme.... Teleports at your house: Hah bitch never you ugly, or not ugly enough... Urgh, nevermind, I mean some ugly chicks know their stuff but you know... Anyway NeroMetal The sociopath not the fucking Cultist piece of shit that use my morals as a code system? YOU THINK WE THE SAME? EEEEEEH! Me raping you says we are not... And ill find you ;) Or your sister or your mom, I mean h0m0? You think im a pervert or something?

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree??? Because it was dead.....

Roses are blue Violets are buckets this poem makes no sense Washing machines

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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