I got drunk last night and woke up in a bed and that's when I saw it. A 400 pound woman was in front of me and I could see the sweat drip down her ass fat and she let out a putrid fart right in my face. It smelt like rotten eggs and cheesy cauliflower. I am horrified.

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A dad says to his son "you better stop masturbating or youll go blind'. And the son says "dad im over here".

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women are like buddhist shrines, you don't piss on them

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roses are red violets are blue does this smell like chloroform

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Steve: Ask me if I'm a tree. John: Are you a tree? Steve: No.

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every man comes from between a women's legs for the rest of their lives they try to get back in

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How do you get through a locked door? Unlock it.

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What did the white male say to the black male who had just robbed a bank? I'm glad you have a reliable source of income to feed yourself and your family

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A family has been forced out of their house by ghosts. Who are they gonna call?... Their insurance company.

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Knock Knock No solicitors

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Q:Why did the kid drop his ice cream A:He was hit by a car

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Q: Why did the Honey Badger cross the road? A: Honey Badger don't care!!!

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what did the penguin say to the dodo bird. nothing because dodo birds have bin extinct for thousands of years and it is highly unlikely for a dodo bird to be saying anything to a penguin do to the fact they wouldn't be anywhere near each other and neither species can speak.

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What did Hitler get his son for Christmas? An Ez-bake oven and a GI Jew

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How do you kill Glenn Campbell? Stab him with a screwdriver.

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What do you call Bob if he gets a nose ring? Bob

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How do you make asian ice cream you mix it with a textbook

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Why did Susie fell off the swings? Because she didn't have any arms or legs.

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What starts with an N and ends with R, that you wouldn't want to call a black person? Neighbor

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Why'd the dead man cross the road? He didn't, he was dead, therefore incapable of doing anything at all.

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Why are you a chicken? Because I say cock-a-doodle doo

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XD A COZY FIGHT XD WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? I am gonna kick your ass, break your face and then give you a kiss on the cheek as your mangled corpse bleeds out... XD :)) THANKS FOR THE LAUGHTER XD XD Reminds me of a former comment where you describe the local weather, you know, we do not live that far away from each other, hell it was actually the time, we are completely in the same timezone, so anyway, do you also get cartoon network on your television?

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what comes in a can ? Beans Where do beans come from ? Cans

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Why did the kid poo his pants? Because he was Matt Daly

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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