The man walked into the church and stayed there.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Jeffery Dahmer. Oh, good, you're finally here!

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When does 1+1=3? When the condom fails.

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If I was trapped in a closet with you and a bear, and I only had two bullets, I would shoot you twice!

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What do you call a man with no home or family? Charles Manson…He currently resides in jail.

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What's worse than getting full-blown AIDS? Finding a half-eaten worm in your apple.

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Q: What is the difference between a potato chip and a frog? A: Neither one of them is a flower.

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Weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee

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A: Knock Knock B: 7

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why was the kid laying in the middle of the baseball field? he was shot in the face then mauled by a bear.

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Why couldn't the boy talk? He had his fathers hairy scrote was in his mouth

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What's worse than knowing you have Hepititis C? Not knowing.

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So, two men walk into a bar. But the midget walks under it.

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Ok so 3 guys walk into a bar... the fourth one ran.

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How did Helen Keller's Parents punished her? The put a doorknob on her door.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

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What did one volcano say to the other? Nothing. Volcanoes are inanimate objects that do not possess the ability to speak.

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A man is working at a bar. He feels a fly graze his left index finger, which has become a bit sweaty. The man rubs the finger for a moment, then continues to slice grapes for a customers synthetic japanese glue farm.

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Well, first of all, what I have overcome both mentally (trauma) and physically (lots of shit) is in the past, lets leave it there. Second yeah, I can basically shift my sense of left and right at will, meaning I can choose which arm to write with, and write things mirrored without even thinking about it, I can fool my senses basically, one second I struggle playing the piano because I have just trained with one, then I make my brain believe I have been practicing with both, its simple, but complicated to explain, while my ears are perfectly normal, I got two sets of balance nerves, it just gets more complicated from there.

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What's the difference between an alligator and an argyle sweater? There are far too many conceivable differences between the two objects to be able to give an actual definite variance between them.

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How many babies can you fit in a blender? Depends how hard you push.

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The last head of Satan, is oh but what you blamed upon Your faults, Your sins. The thoughts of Madness written here, yet potent enough to cloud Your thoughts.... Wait not forever children of man, as eternity is at its peak, the false prophet IS AMONGST US! But what side is he on? The last ditch attempt to protect humanity from a raging jealous vengeful God? Say it is not so! Say that darkness is not the only thing standing against you and eternal damnation... ...Yet you killed his only true child, you stole his name, his essence... Even his Identity... ...Even the Angels white are powerless to stop him, Your maker, Your true maker, for what is the grief of the holy, from which you took his only son... ...As you celebrate once and once anew... :...Merry CHRISTmas, to all of those of you all now left behind... Celebrate it well, as before the world reaches 2017, is where it all ends...

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Your momma's so fat, she died on the operating table during her bypass surgery.

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On September 11th 2001, A worker of North twin tower man woke up to find his dog had chewed on his brand new phone. He went down stairs and realized his kitchen window had been broken. Getting ready to leave for work and saw his radio had been stolen out of his car. After finally making it to work and settling down in his office he spilled coffee on his lap. Enraged, the man yelled, "How could today get any worse!?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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