What did the hose say to the sprinkler? I'm gonna squirt you.

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Did you fall on your head when you were a baby Oh, I very sorry.

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Kid 1: Mama why is my name Daisy? Mama: Because when you were born a daisy petal fell on your head! Kid 2: Mama why is my name Rose? Mama: Becuase it was a nice name.

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Why can't you get a bull to talk? Because it felt like beating the shit out of you and mounting you.

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golf is so gay i mean look at what they name the different clubs 3 wood 4 wood 5 wood 6 wood just give it a beat and you got a catchy song

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He saw a bottle of Faygo on the other side.

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A carpenter walks into a bar. After ordering some wine he tells the bartender that one of his 12 friends will betray him. He also says that once he was captured, the government will execute him on a wooden cross for everyone to see. The bartender in disbelief says to the man "You gotta be kiddin' me, do you think you're Jesus or something?" The man throws his glass of wine to the floor, grabs the bartender by his collar, and says "Hey man, I ordered red wine, not white wine you bastard!" After a few minutes, a group of nurses escort the insane loon back to the mental clinic. The bartender never saw the man again and proceeds to sweep that mess the psycho left on the floor.

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If Steve has 5 apples and gives Jenny 2, it is obvious they aren't eating oranges.

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Donald Duck walks into a drug store and asks the lady behind the counter for a bag of condoms. So the lady says, "Sure thing sir, would you like me to put that on your bill"? Donald says," THIT(Shit)NO, I'LL THUFFOCATE! (Suffocate)

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3

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Roses are chickens violets are pizza this poem makes no sense, Refridgerator

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What is red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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What is worse-losing your phone or failing school? Apartheid

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Why didn't Jane text James? Because she was kidnapped.

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Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

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A man was walking down the sidewalk. Then he turned into a drugstore.

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How do you starve a zombie? You dont, they are allready dead.

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Q: How do you know what will happen when the world willl end? A: by experience

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WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

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Why did the black man cross the road? To escape from his owner.

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Why did the pervert cross the road? Because he couldn't get his knob out of the chicken.

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Q: What's white and sticky? A: Glue.

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Knock knock *open*

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the slaughter house.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops