If 1+1=2 why does 2+2 not equal 3?

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Whats worse than standing on lego? Rebecca black. whats worse than Rebecca Black? Justin Bieber. Whats worse than justin Bieber? Standing on a baby that isnt yours.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

a cancer patient walks into a bar and has a stroke

thumb_up thumb_down -27

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Q:When a T- Rex walks into your house what does it mean? A: Your on pot, T-rex's are extinct

thumb_up thumb_down -29

How do you make asian ice cream you mix it with a textbook

thumb_up thumb_down -29

My grandfather slipped on a banana peel. I helped him up.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

10 kids are on a bus. It's just a normal bus, it takes the kids to school and lets them off.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

roses are grey violets are grey either i am a dog or i am color blind i cant tell im deaf go die in a hole

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why not zoidburg? Because Zoidburg is a alien from another planet and the human population is probally afraid to talk to him do to the potential danger of alien contact.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, ask the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

How many men does it take to screw in a lightbulb...1 How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb...2

thumb_up thumb_down -29

A black man walks into a bar. The bartender, upon seeing him, asks him to leave. The black man is enraged by the blatant racism shown by this man, and proceeds to punch the bartender repeatedly. After 5 minutes of non-stop punching the man stops, looks at his victim, and is filled with remorse. He is dead. Upon looking around, the black man notices scaffolding and building equipment scattered around the room. He falls to the ground as he realizes the bar is still under construction, and unable to serve customers this early in development. The bartender was simply asking the man to leave for his own safety.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

An old man walks into a bar. It was, a metal cylinder, not unlike a short carbon rod, and not the drinking establishment he normally frequents, named O'Malley's Pub and Eatery, which was, in fact, next to the the building with the protruding metal bar. He suffered greater injury than a younger man due to his advanced age and deteriorating health. But he did eventually recover by strictly adhering to his doctor's advice of bed rest, improved diet, and increased, yet moderate, aerobic exercise.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did the kid poo his pants? Because he was Matt Daly

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What's worse than being annal raped by a black man? Well lots of things are but being raped by a guy who has around a 7 inch penis may be hurtful I'm sure being cut open and eaten alive may be worse;)

thumb_up thumb_down -29

How can you tell I'm the biggest idiot in the room? Look at me.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

I was taking a major shiit in the bathroom stalls at the college and someone walked in on me, talk about awkward

thumb_up thumb_down -29

The patient says, "Give me the bad news first!" Doctor replies, "You've got AIDS." "Oh, no! What could be worse than that?" asks the patient. "You've also got Alzheimer's Disease." Looking relieved the patient says, 'at least it shall be over quickly.'

thumb_up thumb_down -29

how do you confuse a blonde? ask if she wants a cake...then rape her

thumb_up thumb_down -29

XD A COZY FIGHT XD WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? I am gonna kick your ass, break your face and then give you a kiss on the cheek as your mangled corpse bleeds out... XD :)) THANKS FOR THE LAUGHTER XD XD Reminds me of a former comment where you describe the local weather, you know, we do not live that far away from each other, hell it was actually the time, we are completely in the same timezone, so anyway, do you also get cartoon network on your television?

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why couldnt the man find his wallet? He didnt have one

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What do u call 30000 Mexicans rolling Dow a hill. Hahaha your mom

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Twitter: @TotalJokes: "So it's been 11 years since the planes hit the world trade centre, time really does fly by."

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops