Why was little David sad? His father got hit by a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why was the jewish boy crying? i lied he was happy.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

knock knock who's there? john john who? john opens his mouth only to be gunned down by a terrorist attack

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why cant Stevie Wonder read? Because he is blind

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Knock, knock. Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why did the teenager turn in his work on time? He chose not to procrastinate.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

whats worse than a baby impaled on your lawn... the universe being consumed by a giant albino ape with over sized testicles

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why did the chicken fall down? Because it wanted to have fun

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar Was it you? No

thumb_up thumb_down -31

whats red and bad for your teeth? a brick.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why is Obama Care a lie? Cuz he doesn't care!

thumb_up thumb_down -31

roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

How do you make a person cry? Burn his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Q: Why did the Little girl fall off the swing set? A: She was Shot in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Sir, do you know what time it is? Yes, it is 5:15 PM

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Q: Why Cant The T-Rex Clap? A: No, Its Not Because His arms are to short, Its because he's Dead You Idiot...

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Q: What happens when eight men throw purple at a rain coat? A: Mud-flaps, because electricity can't power a vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

So a little girl walked into a bar... A concerned adult then told the bartender. The bartender's name was Jim. Jim then asked the girl if she knew her phone number. The little girl said nothing and the bar tender was perplexed at the petrified look on the girls face. Jim the bartender then called the police and explained the situation.Once the girl was brought back to the police station it was learned that she had been missing for three months in a nearby county. The police then return to the bar to find that the owner had multiple kidnapped little girls in a cage under the bar that only he and the kidnapped girls knew about before the cops and Jim the bartender discovered it. The police then arrested The owner of the bar. He stood trial and was senteced to death row, he remains there today.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

A russian, a mexican, and an american are all sitting in a tavern. The russian ordered vodka, the mexican orders tequila, and the american orders a beer. When the waiter arrives, the russian throws his vodka into the air, shoots it, and says "we got too many of those in our country". The mexican tosses up his tequila and says "we got too many of those in our country". The american throws up his beer, shoots the mexican, and says "we got too many of those in our country". And then drinks his beer.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What's worse than a worm in your apple? A worm in your asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

I dunno, I dont grade love, I want to see you, touch you, bang you (sorry for not having the guts to use a nicer word, but I am tired and that is what I have in me now) And while that makes me sound like some hippy, I am very fucking picky about who I spend time with, and when. And I got no male friends, waste of time, why spend time with guys when I can spend time with chicks. Excuse me, just need my meds, speaking of sincerity, yeah I use medications, wont tell you what, but its well, not for my "mental disorders" I was born crazy, and I am going to die like I live: INSANE.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why did the man commit suicide? He was depressed.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "why the long face?" The horse replies "my whole family was killed in 911... And I used the money I got from life insurance to get plastic surgery to always have a smile on my face. My doctor botched the surgery, so now my face is elongated. Even for a horse, of course."

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Patient: Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains! Doctor: That's because you are. Patient: Wow, I need to lay off the mushrooms.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops