My grandpa died in the holocaust. How? He had gas.

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Why did Suzie fall of the swing? Because Suzie was a cucumber.

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Q why did the girl scream A she got hit with an axe

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting a handjob from Edward scissor hands

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a mountainous mound of slain human offspring? There is none, the second is conferred to the subject of a conversation using a highly advanced vernacular.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Before you sneeze Say PIK-Achoo

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Whats worse than peeing blood? Dying.

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A man walks into a bar............. The bar explodes and everyone dies

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Aww, I knew you where a sweetheart at the core Nerochan, I mean I look up towards people that don't give a jack about what others think but I am not as good at it as you are. Now can you please spam that away like really quickly now?

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What did John say to Paul before they entered the car? "Paul, get in the car."

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How do you keep an elephant from charging? Ask nicely.

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A man walks off a bus. How did he get on top of it in the first place?

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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand? What you probably have is a lawyer on holiday with his children, allowing himself or herself to be buried in order to please said children.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

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What did the Golden Retriever say when asked about the meaning of life? woof.

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What is the difference between a black man and a piece of fried chicken? Fried chicken is a breaded meal that is high in calories whereas a black man is an unedible human being with feelings.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.

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A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar. The rabbi says "ow my head"

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Why did god make women? Because women are equally important when it comes to the birth to maintain or species.

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How do you get 1,000 dead babies into a car? Blender How do you get them out? Straw

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My therapist says that I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that!

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What happens when you cross a Labrador and a Poodle. A species of dog that has been cross bred.

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What's worse than being fired? Eating a bucket of diarrhea.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops