How do you get a one armed Polish man out of a tree? With a ladder, he needs help.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was commiting suicide.

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Doctor, doctor, I just swallowed a roll of film! That was an incredibly foolish and dangerous thing for you to do. I would be surprised if you survived another day before the chemicals corrode your stomach lining and release hydrofluoric acid throughout your body causing sepsis.

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Your momma is so old, she qualifies for multiple financial aid programs provided by the government.

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What's worse than getting your dog neutered? You being the dog.

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why did Lucy fall down? she got hit with a hammer

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Little boy: Daddy, daddy, I know what i want for Christmas! Dad: Oh really? and whats that? Little boy: I want a bicycle! Dad: Why my son? You are already on a wheelchair...

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What is brown and sticky? A stick.

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A man walks in to a bar, remembering he was actually going to the hardware store, he heads out and leave.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I like pie. I know you do too.

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why does stuart own alot of hollister because he is autistic

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Okay

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What's worse than finding out your friend is gay? Being gang-raped.

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What's brown and hides in the closet? The Diarrhea of Anne Frank.

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What did the rat say to the dog? Nothing, he is a rat and therefore incapable of speech.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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why did katy fall off her bike?

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, I'm blind.

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What kind of king has 2 heads? A card!

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What did Nick Comado say to the black person? Hello I live at 317 North 12th Street, Beech Grove, Indiana, USA. PLEASE come murder me and my family

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Whats as Heavy as a rock and also as light as a feather? Any object in space because the lack of gravity to give the object weight.

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What did the bar say to the man? Nothing, bars can't talk

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What did the aborted fetus say to the recycling bin? Nothing because it isn't capable of speaking, and it was in the dumpster

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what do all black jokes start with (look left look right)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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