Whats worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm? Having a Hippo give you head.

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What kind of drug did the cops catch the alligator with? None. They were going to use a tranquiliser dart, but SPCA intervened and simply held the alligator's mouth shut while they loaded it into a secure cage.

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what did the bug say when it got ran over by a car? NOTHING, bugs can't talk

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A man goes to his doctor and says, "Help me, my wife thinks she's a chicken." The doctor recommends a nearby psychiatrist to analyze the wife's mental instability, and inevitably she is housed in an insane asylum. The husband commits suicide.

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What does the Bill in Bill Clinton stand for? Bilious.

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Hurricane sandy should have been named hurricane snooki because it ruined the jersey shore

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Why did the astronaut die in space? Just kidding there was no astronaut. It was a cucumber

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a black guy a mexican guy and a puerto rican guy are driving together in a car whos driving? Whoevers car it is.

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Aids, Black People, Cancer, Death, Retarded, Drunk, Sex, Black People, Holocaust, Blackies, White People, BLACK

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue I have ADD Check out this flashlight!

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Why didnt the vampire have a reflection? You have to be real to have a reflexion

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Why was the boy scared? Well, his mother had recently taken up Satanical ideals and in an attempt to sacrifice themselves to the Dark Lord, she drove her car off a cliff and into a lake. Now, with his dead mother in the drivers seat, no way to call emergency services, and 300 feet of water between him and the surface, you can see why he'd be scared.

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What did the sailor say to the shore? Ur a beach!

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How did the girl cross the road? -She didn't, she died because she was blind and didn't see the "don't walk" sign.

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What do you call a black person flying a plane? A pilot.

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How do you pacify Hitler? Give him jews.

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What did the farmer say after the chicken started talking? Holy shit a talking chicken.

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Why did the man look in the mirror? To see his reflection.

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Doctor Doctor! I think im turning into a carrot! Thats a side effect of the drugs Alice, We've just had your test results back. I'm sorry Alice, You've got HIV.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it can do whatever the hell it wants

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what is behind your butt? DEEZ NUTS

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow And daisies can be a wide variety of colours.

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What happened when the young child fell off of the swing? He broke open his head causing him to be sent to the hospital for 3 weeks.

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How do you help a chronic drug addict? Buy him or her more drugs. They NEED it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops