Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

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Niggas be like you ugly and you playing hard to get, yo ass already hard to want!

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Why didn't the man go to the movies?? Because he likes pie.

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Yo Mama just died.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A vet.

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What do you call a dear with no eyes. A mutilated dear.

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Ok everyone, you know that kid that after his joke he'll put louis on the bottom because that's his name? He sucks at joke telling and if you see any of his jokes, DISLIKE THEM!

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Whats worse than finding a worm in a apple? Getting raped by a skorpian

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Sometimes i like to paint myself red and then curl up into a ball and pretend i'm a tomato.

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What did the ocean say the other ocean? Nothing, bodies of water are incapable of speech.

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"Knock, Knock." "Who's There?" "Banana."

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A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there's a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers. Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there's a large limo line at the rental office, but he's patient and gets the job done. Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there's no punchline.

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Bill: My vagina is itchy. Tom: You don't have a vagina. It was later found out that bill had a sex change and did have an itchy vagina, due to an STI. He later died of cancer.

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roses are red ur face is too and if u r hot my penis is going in u

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A man walks into a bar, He is a severe alcoholic and is slowly drowning himself in booze. The man exits the bar after several hours of heavy drinking and walks home. He enters his home to discover a man in bed with his wife. After the first ten seconds of paralyzing rage, he grabs a .44 Magnum and brutally murders his wife and her bed mate. The man realizes he has woken up his two month old, and after thinking of the horrible act he has committed, he promptly raises the pistol to his temple and pulls the trigger. Oh, I almost forgot, the man was schizophrenic and has never been married.

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you go to cvs and theres a robber trying to shoot everyone and the cashier says do you have a rewards card

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What's the difference between an alligator and an argyle sweater? There are far too many conceivable differences between the two objects to be able to give an actual definite variance between them.

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Why can't you get a bull to talk? Because it felt like beating the shit out of you and mounting you.

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Why could susan not get up? Because her limbs were hacked off by a African militia group.

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What is the difference between a Homosexual and a Heterosexual? They are both Black.

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Three penguins sitting in a tub. The first penguin says to the third penguin, "Hey would you pass the soap?" The penguin in the middle says, "What do you think I am a typewriter?"

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Did you hear about Billy's magic trick? No? Don't worry, it was a trick question.

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? Two Holocaust Whats worse that two Holocaust? Dane Cooks Comedian act

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Obama holds the most records for Multikills with Drones. Mu-mu-muuuultiiikilllll.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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