What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I actually take my shoes off when I jump on the trampoline.

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How do you fit 10 babies in a bowl? With a blender. How do you get them out of the bowl? You don't, you've already been arrested for multiple cases of infanticide.

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Bill: ask me if i am three ducks in a man suit Jim: are you three ducks in a man suit? Bill: yes

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Um...thats impossible because chickens live on farms theyre are no roads....

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One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck. The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car. He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle. Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires. The blonde got angry and called the cops, who proceeded to come and arrest him.

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A pirate walks in to a bar. The bartender notices he has a steering wheel in the front of his pants, so he says to the pirate, "you know you've got a steering wheel in your pants, huh?" The pirate responds, "Arrrrrrrrr, it's for me carrrrr."

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There are 2 black guys in a car. Who's driving? The police.

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A dancer walks into a barre

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Why are you gay? Because ***** you

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a horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?", the horse incapable of understanding the English language promptly shits on the floor and eats a bar stool.

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You know why they call me Scuba Steve? Because I Scuba Dive.

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Did you know Helen Keller has a pool? no oh well she does.

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Why didn't grandma ever return Johnathon's calls? Grandma was brutally murdered 2 years prior. Johnathon had issues believing that she was gone. He went on to live a life of pain and suffering, which would eventually lead to suicide at the age of 24.

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Q: What's the worst part about having sex with a cougar? A: Dying...

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Q: Why was the boy sad? A: An Elephant was sitting on his face

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What's worst than a worm in your apple? Finding your mom in a porno.

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Why are chaos theorists so predictable? Because their arguments usually follow a logical set of points.

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how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

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Coach walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says, i can't serve you. You aren't wearing pants. Coach says "put it on my bill."

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Knock Knock Opens door because they were expecting visitors

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why did Susie fall of the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who`s there? not Susie

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock "Who's there?" Not Sally!

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What's worse then failing a math test? Your mom getting shot

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree??? Because it was dead.....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops