Why couldn't the man walk? He lost his legs when he stepped on a land mine in Afghanistan.

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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Why are Asians so good at math? because of their work ethic and determination to become the best at everything.rice.

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Why do woman cook dinner? Because their husband has 6 jobs and is trying to support his family so she does a part and cooks dinner.

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Two whales are in a bar. One says, "whoaohaoahwoahwahoh" The other says, "Go home, Frank. You're drunk."

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Yo mama so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death

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Contrary to the popular saying, "An apple a day keeps the doctor away," if you get cancer there's nothing an apple can do...

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There was a man that Invited Bruce Wayne, Superman, Peter Parker, Batman, Clark Kent and Peter Parker to his party He was really sad when he heard only half of them could attend...

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A horse walks into a bar. He politely holds the door for a young woman.

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Q. What does the pencil and the basketball have in common? A. They both are made from wood, except for the basketball.

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Presidents are black Rappers are white Welcome to 2011

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.. A: Knock Knock B: Who's there? A: Not Sally

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

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A boy called Justin bieber fell down a hole and died

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How to pick up chicks Pick up a chicken but must be a baby

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Why did the robot cross the road? Because It was bionically fused to the chicken.

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What do you call a boy with no arms or legs that gets stepped on a lot? Mat.

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how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit him with an ax

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Knock knock! Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? To get to the other side!

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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Whats worse than losing your phone? Buying a new one and then losing that

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What did the drunk man say to the average civilian? Blahaahahahahahuhuh!

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Knock, knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who?

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What did Helen Keller say to the little boy with cancer? Hudd Wahher shelper, ghh o.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops