Your mom is so fat that she actually had a pretty hard time finding a husband.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Once a upon a time there was a boy whom likes cheese. The boy: I like Cheese and thats the end of the story

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how many babies can fit into a microwave i dont know i havent tried

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for christmas. A new vest and a puppy because his father got a promotion and a much higher pay raise.

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Why was the boy embarrassed when he opened his parents' bedroom door? Because he had been trying the door for several minutes until he realized he was pushing instead of pulling.

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Q: why are you gay A: because your physically attracted to the same sex

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Two chemist walk into a bar. The Bartender ask them what they want. The first chemist says he wants H20. The second chemist laughs and says he wants H20 too. Then he dies.

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What did Helen Keller say to her friend? Nothing. If you didn't know, she was deaf and blind so she had to use Sign Language.

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Whats green, has four legs, and falls out of a tree? A Pool Table. Use your imagination.

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How many stripes are there on a policeman's socks? None, policemen must wear regulation plain black socks.

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Q: Suzy loves apples she will o anything to get her hands on an apple. A: You guys are so gullible!!! She DID eat Tom's apple. ...... then he killed her.

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knock knock whos there. no one your hullicinating, heroine is hell of a drug

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What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAA

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Q: What do you do when the light burns out A: Just replace it with a bulb from a less used room

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Your momma is so ugly... Yeah, yeah, yeah my momma's ugly, but guess what, at least I'm not an orphan asshole.

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Q: How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they are too weak to climb the ladder.

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Why do white people drive big trucks? 'Cause they can afford it.

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What did the Zen Buddhist say in the hamburger store? He said, "Make me one with everything."

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Why did the little boy refuse to kiss his grandmother? He was afraid she would slip him some tongue.

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Albert <3 Hunter

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? Kindly reject the offer and give it back to life.

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how do you keep an idiot in suspense. I dont' know he still hasn't told me

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I know a black person. His name is Mikey.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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