roses are red, violets are red, ive been shot in the eye with a pelet gun, please ,please help

thumb_up thumb_down +4

YOU MEAN SHE ACTUALLY EVER LIKED ME? WOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Anyway, tell her to contact me here, during the number of letters up there divided by a certain number you got over there, minus the letters here subtracted with the VEEEEEEERY same ammoooouuuuunt... Moral: God I need to invent a code system that makes me sound less like Jim Carrey on crack...

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's green and eats rocks? A green rock eater What's purple and eats rocks? It hasn't been discovered by science yet...

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you tell your chicken when it is it's birthday. Nothing, because he wouldn't understand you.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN cil you have such a dirty mind

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why do white people not eat crackers? Cause it's cannabalism.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Two men and a woman go to lunch together at a restaurant in New York City. The first man says, "I'm glad that we're finally doing this." The second man says, "Yeah, me too." The woman concurs.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the gay man receive for christmas? AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A chicken walked into the bar...

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What is white but you can't see it? A bottle of milk around the corner.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the difference between dead babies and punching bag? No one makes jokes about punching bags.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the man open up a umbrella? Because it was raining..

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A black man and a Mexican man are in the back of a car. Who's driving? Not enough information to answer this question.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

whats worse then a child with a dead mom? the baby is still inside.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

a guy went to a bar and ordered a molotov cocktail. he died.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: What did the blind boy get for his birthday? A: He doesn't know

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Despite their parents wishes, two teenagers under the age of 18 tried multiplying. Their answer was 27.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Sex

thumb_up thumb_down +4

two paraplegics walk into a bar. oh wait...

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a Ku Klux Klan member who has been set on fire? Burnt Marshmallow.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why was justin sad? his family was murdered

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Neither did she.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the boy jump off a cliff Because he was gay and committed suicide

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's black and sits at the top of the stair case? Stephen hawking in a house fire.......

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops