a man checks his brand new cellphone to see if he has a text message... He has cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why couldn't Billy drive? He had no arms. Why did he have no arms? Thalidomide.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: How many dead babies does it take to fill a mixing bowl? A: There is an infinite amount of answers to this question depending on the sizes and shapes or the dead babies, so lets assume that an average would probably be about 4 babies that dies just as the left the mother.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Patient: Doctor Doctor! Every Time I Drink Some Tea, My Eye Is Really Sore! Doctor: Next Time Take The Spoon Out...

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Whats the difference between a jew and firewood? Firewood is meant to be burned in a stove or firepit while jews are functioning members of society.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being hit by a plane.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Paul was mowing his lawn when he felt a bump. It turned out it was a bunny. Paul felt bad but the bunny felt worse

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's green, smelly, and in a swamp? Casey Anthony's Baby

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Do you know what's the sexiest thing in the world? Sex.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Knock, knock. Who's there? Me, your friend George! You don't remember me! Oh. Sorry. I'm kidding. I'm a robber.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What is the difference between a jew and girl scouts. Girl scouts come back from camp

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A little boy is going to school when he is stopped by a stranger. The stranger tells the little boy, when his teacher asks him why he is late, just say willytop. The boy looks at the stranger oddly, but proceeds to go to school. He arrives 5 minutes late, and is teacher isn't that happy. His teacher asks him why he is late. All the boy says is Willytop. The teacher looks at him horrified, and sends him to the office. Well, the boy arrives in the principals office, and the principal asks him why he was sent down. All the boy said was Willtop. The Principal was so horrified that he expelled the boy from school. Well, the boy went home, to find his parents in the living. They told the boy they knew he was expelled, but they wanted to know why. All the boy said was Willytop. The parents were so horrified by this that they kicked him out of the house. Well, the boy is now walking to dark town streets, when he is stopped by a cop. The cop asks him why he is walking the streets alone. All the boy says is Willytop. The cop is so disgusted, that he kicks the boy out of town. Well, the boy is now sitting in a bar, and the bartender asks him why he is alone. All the boy said was Willytop. The bartender looked at him horrified, but before the bartender could say anything, the boy says "Please sir, I was kicked out of school, my house and even my hometown because of willytop. what does it mean sir?" The bartender nods, and tells the boy to come with him across the street, because if he tells him in the bar, the other people may get mad. Well, the boy and the bartender are across the street from the bar. The bartender opens his mouth, but before he could speak, a drunk driver hits them both.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a joke that is not funny? An un - funny joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did Batman say to When they were heading to the Batmobile Robin get in the batmobile.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did Reed read? A. Read?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A baby seal walks into a club. He immediately escorted out because babies are not allowed in clubs.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Knock, knock Whos there? docter doctor who? yes how did you know?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's the difference between a trampoline and a cat? I take mu cleats off when I jump on a trampoline.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Yo mama's so fat that when she went to go get an x-ray, they had to use the one they have at the zoo.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did Timmy want for Christmas? Parents.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

whats worse than walking in to the doctors office and he says you got aids heaps of stuff can be worse but haha you got aids

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what do you call some one with no arms and no legs? names.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the waitress do when the man asked for pizza? She ran away

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the cat say to the dog? Miaow. What did the dog say to the cat? Miaow.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops