How do you make an apple puff? Put the apple in a large pan with some water. Cover and cook gently for 20-25 minutes until soft. Add sugar and nutmeg to taste. Transfer to a bowl and leave to cool. Cover with pastry and bake until well-risen and golden.

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Why was Dr Who unable to travel back in time using the TARDIS? Because it's just a television prop. It isn't a real time machine.

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what did the cow say to shabab?....... want some milk

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar They are friends and continue to have a pleasant evening

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How do you make a baby crawl in circles? Nail its hand to the floor. How do you make a baby stop crawling? Nail the other one to the floor.

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why did the grandmother forget her grandsons name? she has Alzheimers so she is slowly forgetting all her relatives

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Q: What happens when you divide by zero. A: You get a complex kind of infinite.

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Can midgets still have big dreams?

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How do you find the richest man in Mexico? Go through government records and tax files and find the person with the highest salary

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What's the difference between 50 dead babies and a three-course meal? One of them can feed me for a day and the other is a three-course meal.

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- Women have rights, aren't they? - Yes, they have.

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How did Hitler fit 100 jews in his car? He didn't, he was too busy killing them in concentration camps.

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Knock knock Who's there? Dave, I've got a fucking gun. Let me the fuck in.

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why are black people so fast? because there black

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? She didn't, her father named the dog because he was aware of his daughters innability to speak.

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A blonde rubs a lamp hoping to find a genie that will grant her 3 wishes. It didn't happen.

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where did you get those clothes? at the toilet store.

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and an erection? I dont have a Ferrari!!

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how do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it's face

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BTMG JOAN!"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TOP OF THE MORNING FREE MEAT NO SANTA THIS YEAR BONE FOUNDATIONS MOUNTNORRIS WHY IS THAT BAG MOVING?????????? MR MO MOLESTOR SHIT STAINS VEGETABLE GUN OPERATION SBB OPERATION SBB (THE AFTERMATH) #SL #NSL TIN SCHACK SKI LIFT MILK STAINS NATHAN: 5 - SEATS: 0 GREEK LETTER STU THE SO

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Why are rich guys gay? Because they hang around other rich guys

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Q. Why were the children sad? A. They'd just been abducted by a dodgy old man in a van.

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whats better than nailing a baby to a wall? Ripping it off the wall.

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what do you call a white man who appears to be standing on water? a surfer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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