Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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You wake, and up for a second you are dazed. Then you open your eyes slowly because you are afraid of what is to come. You then remember oh right I had a sleepover at john smith's house.

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Q: Whats pointy and sharp and rhymes with life? A: A spear. It's close enough.

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An old man, and his daughter are walking down the street. They are having a nice time, until the daughter turns around to see the old man lying on the ground in pain because of the crippling arthritis in his back that has caused him agony and discomfort for years.

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I have to tell yo people a story and you have to answer it. Q/S(Story):There once was a boy by the name of aids. He had aids because he had aids. He dad had aids, his mom had aids his whole family had aids. How did he die? A: He got hit by a bus you heartlest basterd.

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What did the doctor say to the obese person? You have diabetes.

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what did the woman say? 'duhhh, i don't have a penis durr durr' (By the way, I'm trying to be not misogynistic, please let me know if you find this misogynistic in any way)

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There once was a man named Trevor. Trevor was walking casually through the forest one day. All of a sudden, a wolf leapt out from the trees. The wolf said, in a harsh voice, "Hey man! This is my patch". But then Trevor woke up and realised that his hallucinations were symptoms of a degenerative brain disease.

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why was the woman crying? her son killed 5 people.

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Is that a banana in your pocket, or do you just have an erection?

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How did the weak old man with cancer beat it? He hung himself.

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What did superman say when he flew into a building? Flying is inhumanly possible unless in an aircraft vehicle.

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Roses are Black Violets are black I am colorblind, are you to?

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Which way do 5 gay guys walk? Depends on where they're planning to go.

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A girl asks her best friends: Why are you only wearing one earring? The best friends replies: Because I took the other one out.

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Two men fought over a bag of peanuts. The peanuts won.

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What's worse than 10 babies in a trashcan? One baby in 10 trashcans.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? A) The color of their hair.

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How to trick hundreds or religious people to drink cyanide? You establish a religious community in which you establish a ritual of drinking Kool-Aid once a day and one day switch the Kool-Aid with cyanide.

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What did the Mexican say to the Pirate? Can I have a pound for my bus, pal?

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What's worse than a bag of dead babies? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Jews.

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Why was the baby flying? Because it's face was stapled to the propeller of a helicopter.

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Whats black and yellow and is funny when its falling off a cliff? A bus full of niggers.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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