There were a dog and a cat in a family house. The dog turned to the cat and said .. nothing because a dog can not speech the human language.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Yo mamma so fat when I searched her on the internet, I got 28,000,000 results

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why didn't John get a present for Christmas? Because John died eight months ago.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How did the chicken cross the road?he just got up and walked to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's worse; twelve babies in one trash can or one baby in twelve trash cans?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why was the man wearing all white? He was a part of the Ku Klux Kan.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the dinosaurs go extinct? I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I was typing a new book today (literature wild west, and I realized I had been writing the same shit over and over again for eight hours and was dead tired when It went so..) Welcome to the wild west, guns! Hayballs! MONSTER TRUCKS! And then I kinda thought to myself... Is it just me or am I trying a bit too hard? So guys? What do you think, am I trying a bit too hard here? Funny story, I am tired and drank lots of coffee, so I am holding back in order to not try so hard... Not trying hard enough to hold back? I am asking you! WHY? BECAUSE YOUR ANSWER DOES NOT MATTER! ARE WE GAME?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why shouldnt you throw a rock at a black person on a bike? Its probably your bike.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did Johnny fall of the Swing?? Because i hit him with a shovel

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the seagull fly over the sea, It had wings.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

My brother is crazy... crazy like a fox! I caught him eating a Possum on the side of the road yesterday.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How many dead babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Impossible, non-living organisms are incapable of moving and babies lack the brain capacity to understand how to screw in a light bulb.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's a worse place to be besides the friendzone? On your grandmas lap crying because your parents just died in a car crash.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the chicken cross the road? He lost his punch line. -by Ross

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did Batman brush his teeth? So he wouldn't get bat breath

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are Blue, Europe is Yellow. I suck at poems, Refridgerator

thumb_up thumb_down +5

When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. Well, that's going to be some horrible lemonade if life doesn't also give you water and sugar.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A man jumped off a bridge. He went bungee jumping with his family and had a great time.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

1+2 = 6

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? A: He died on Christmas Day, before his parents could tell him they had maxed out their credit cards to take him to Disney World. His father has since relapsed into alcoholism. He knows his wife is cheating on him with another man, but understands that she needs comfort that he cannot give her.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you get when you cross a rabbit and a pair of scissors? Nothing. That's not possible with current technology.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's worse than being dead? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops