A baby seal walks into a bar... The bartender looks at it and says: too young.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Whats worse than getting a papercut on the side of your finger? Being shotgunned in the ass

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what's worse than getting cancer.........nothing cancer is a pretty bad thing

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why could the kid not finish his homework? Because it flew out the window on the way to his parents funeral

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a black police officer? The drug dealer's inside man.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what did the jew get for Christmas? cancer. and aids

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q:whats the difference between grass and a car? A:They all have wheels, except the grass

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the black man do to the white woman? I Dont KNow ask him

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A grandma says come on twinkies and the teinkies say were terriosts from your lost hole

thumb_up thumb_down -8

whats better than 7 babies in one trash can 1 baby in 7 trash cans

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did Jimmy lay down? Because he was tired

thumb_up thumb_down -8

One day a black guy bought some fried chicken. The clerk said: Lol you guys always eat chicken! Lol said the black guy, yeah I am here a lot. Clerk: No I meant your kind of you know... I KNOW WHAT? Clerk: You guys at the studio next door! Oh, yeah, lol I almost thought you meant my skin color! Clerk: You fucking Negroes always thinking we are racist...

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Roses are red,violets are blue, i love the colour red and green but its a pitty because im not so keen.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What is black and hangs on a rope next to a rebel flag in my back yard? A tire swing for my redneck kids to swing on.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

some weirdo nerd was just convicted of a hit and run Just kidding. All he did was suffocate your dad with a whoopee cusion.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

why was the little girl crying? because i raped her.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q. Whats the diffrence between a squirl and a chipmunk? A. A squirl has a squirl mom and a squirl dad while a chipmunk has a chipmunk mom and a chipmunk dad.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why is the boy sad? He was getting bullied so he later on talked to a teacher and the bully and him settled their differences. The bullied boy still wishes the bully to go to hell.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the west African get for his birthday? Ebola

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what is differnt about a boyscout and a jew? the boyscout comes back from camp

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why was the girl distressed by the photo of her boyfriend's mutilated corpse? Because it was out of focus.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

So a man walks into a bar, And because he is dressed in such a way that was thought of as threatening to the general safety of the highly valued customers, he is shot eight times in the head.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops