A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

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What do u when life gives u lemons? U put them in your iced tea.

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If my balls were on your chin, where would my dick be?

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Why did the little boy leave his bike on the side of the road? He was kidnapped and his body was found 2 weeks later at Penn State

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A Jew, Muslim and Mexican all die of cancer

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Alzheimers, Cheese on toast.

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What did 4 Year Old Jonny get for his birthday? Death.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Your under arrest for drug trafficking and possession of illegal firearms. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say...

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Q: What is black and white, black and white, black and white? A: A Nun falling down the stairs.

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Whats the difference between Osama and Obama? The S is replaced with a B.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog.

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Q: A woman is hit by a motorcycle. Whos fault was it the motorcyclist's or the woman's? A: It was the motorcyclist's fault. He shouldn't of been riding his mortorcycle in the kitchen while she was making my sandwich.

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how does an Arab scare someone He does a countdown

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What's a bench painted red white and blue all over? An American BENCH.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue In Soviet Russia Poem tells You -Ben

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What did the black man say to the jew at a party Well hello i don't believe we met.

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If life gives you melons, you're probably dyslexic.

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Why was the mushroom invited to the party? It was because it was a mushroom costume party

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WHY IS THIS SENTENCE CAPITALIZED? BECAUSE CAPS LOCK IS ON.

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Why was the black man pulled over on his way to KFC? Because he ran a red light.

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How many days can a pelican whisper? Pelicans can't whisper.

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Q. want to hear the biggest lie in the world ? A. sure A.I have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service

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What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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Your momma;s so fat she stepped on the scale and said one at a time please!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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