Three men are walking, the first one walks into a bar. He has a couple of drinks because he is depressed. He drives home, drunk, and dies in a car accident. His wife finds out and hangs herself.

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Q: What's big, black, and smelly? A: The unemployment line.

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what do michael Jackson and little boys do in the dark alone? they turn on the flashlight

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Why don't bats have penises? They do. I tried. Menstruation.

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Whats red and smells like black paint Red paint

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A blonde takes a math test it says find x? She circles x and puts there it is!

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Why Didn't The Teenager Bring His Report Card Home to His Parents? Because He Was Murdered By Thugs Walking Home From School.

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Why did the young boy cross the road? because his dad beats him due to alcoholism and his mother is a crack whore.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient ability. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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What do you call a man with a limp? A limping man.

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Lindsay Lohan

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit.

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My wife is so fat that I find her unattractive.

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Why'd the gay man get fired from the sperm bank? He was repeatedly late to work.

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Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says to the other muffin, "Sure is hot in here." The other muffin says, "AHHHH! A talking muffin."

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What's more sad then a dumpster full of dead babies? The live one at the bottom.

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Why is Short Circuit the best movie ever made? Because it tastes like lemons

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antonio has a penis head.lol

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How many Azheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side!

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What is not a car park? Clash of clans

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And so the baseball says to the tractor........ Your not my dad

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A boy called Justin bieber fell down a hole and died

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Potatoes have skin, i have skin, so therefore i must be a pig

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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