Why was the baby crying? He had just witnessed his parent get brutally murdered.

How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? One second let me count them.

What is big, white, and heavy ? A fridge

What does Santa give to a naughty child who wants coal for Christmas? Nothing, Santa doesn't exist.

An eleven year old boy walks into a bar... he is searching for his father, who has a known alchol problem, and has been missing for five days.

Whats funnier than a massacre? Everything.

What do you do if your walking into a room full of Lions and Jaguars? You stop walking.

Wanna here a funny joke? Will is straight HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA hes gay

A man goes up to an old friend and says: "Help me, I just found out that my friend is gay! What should I do!?" The other man replies: "If there is no problem, I cannot help you... Yet, there is one. Your homophobia. I suggest that you see a therapist immediately and I hope that you can get over the fact of the contemplation of a sexuality."

Do you know what would happen if Hitler was still alive today. Nothing he's not.

"Good Morning, I'm Dr. Pepper" "Like the drink?" "Huh... yes... just like the drink" Would you mind to sit right here Mr..... "Nike" "Oh, just like the shoes" "How do you dare!"

Why are black people afraid of tigers? Because tigers eat people

Why can't you lie to atoms? Because they make up everything!

Roses are red Violets are blue My head itches I'm going to get this guy to itch it for me

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the baby monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the dead monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

why are there so many peadofiles in the world? sexy kids.

What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

When you see birds flying in a V why is one side of the V always longer than the other? There are more birds on that side

A muslim in Iraq was sniped in the head by US forces. He was a terrorist, who killed 18 innocent people.

How did young Austin get home while walking on the side of the street ? He didnt. He was hit by a car.

Identical jokes get different amounts of votes

Yo' mom is so fat, She should probably consider a low fat diet in which no more than 30% of the calories are from fat.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: I didn't get to ask. He got hit by a car.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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