What has two legs, but can't walk? Half a dog.

How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. One to screw in the light bulb and one to suck my dick.

How old are you? 7

A man begged for forgiveness, for a sin commited Jesus forgave him, Jesus loves you

A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

a man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. The Bartender says okay, here you go.

"Good Morning, I'm Dr. Pepper" "Like the drink?" "Huh... yes... just like the drink" Would you mind to sit right here Mr..... "Nike" "Oh, just like the shoes" "How do you dare!"

What do you do if your walking into a room full of Lions and Jaguars? You stop walking.

A man goes up to an old friend and says: "Help me, I just found out that my friend is gay! What should I do!?" The other man replies: "If there is no problem, I cannot help you... Yet, there is one. Your homophobia. I suggest that you see a therapist immediately and I hope that you can get over the fact of the contemplation of a sexuality."

Wanna here a funny joke? Will is straight HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA hes gay

Why are black people afraid of tigers? Because tigers eat people

Do you know what would happen if Hitler was still alive today. Nothing he's not.

Roses are red Violets are blue My head itches I'm going to get this guy to itch it for me

Why can't you lie to atoms? Because they make up everything!

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the baby monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the dead monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

why are there so many peadofiles in the world? sexy kids.

Why did the boy show off his ps4? Because his mom was rapped and murdered And his dad molested him when he was younger

Whats a joke with no meaning? This one

'Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.' That's fantastic because Peter Piper was paralyzed and the doctors said he would never be able tomove is arms or legs again, and there he is picking a peck of pickled peppers. I applaud you Peter Piper.

Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? She was blind.

What's the difference between and Jew and a boy scout? The boy scout returned from camp.

Q: Why did the plane crash? A: The driver was a loaf of bread

why was the Jewish person accused of stealing money? because the police found his finger prints.

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I've got a shotgun, Give me the money.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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