How do you stop a train? You stand in front of it.

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What did Helen Keller name her pet dog? dfhiwueghweigw

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So there is this moose and he goes to a grocery store and asks, "where are the potatoes?" the employee says "aisle 5" and when the moose checks in aisle five, there are no potatoes.

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What is black, white, and red all over? A penguin that someone shot with red paintballs.

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what's worse than waiting 45 minutes in an amusement park ride? getting your penis chopped off.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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A hipster walks into a bar you've never heard of...

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What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

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What do you get when you rape a dead baby filled with jalapeños? A lifetime in prison, and a burning penis.

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how does cody get laid? he doesnt.

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What african eat for christmas Sand.

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Why did the bunny hit the drum? It didn't because it did not have the mental capacity or physical capabilities to do so

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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Sometimes I wonder; why is that frisbee getting closer? Then it hits me. Someone just threw a frisbee at me.

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What's brown and sticky? A lump of shit.

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a murderer sees a young child left alone at a park... he promptly finds the childs mother and returns her to her home.

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Roses are red, My name is Dave, This poem makes no sense, Microwave.

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This sentance contains three errers

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? She is a woman ... Who is blind, deaf and mute Therefore considered a danger to herself And those around her.

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Q: What's worse than ten babies stapled to one tree? A: One baby stapled to ten trees.

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How do you cure a person that claims cannot say no to anything? Treatment: *locks door* NOW SAY NO TO ME! BUAHAHAHAHA! Patient: NO I CANT!!! You care cured! *opens door* NEXT!

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How many ADD kids does it take to screw...

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Why did Rebecca Black die? She killed herself due to the cruelty of many people

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In class a teacher said "Stand up if you think you'r stupid" A kid stands and the teacher ask why? The kid said: "Oh I thought it'd be a bit fair since your standing up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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