Man: Why do you wear your wedding ring on the wrong finger? Woman: Oh, wow, thanks for pointing that out. Silly me.

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What kind of key can unlock a banana? Basically any key that is sharp enough.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Why did the Muslim cross the road? He was on fire and he needed to get to the lake on the other side of the street to put himself out.

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Is your refridgerator running? good, because if it wasn't then your food would spoil.

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what happens if you toss a grey stone into a red sea? it gets wet...

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did you hear the one about the elephant with a screwdriver? me neither...

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A man agreed with a camel. The camel didn't agree. ... (This joke does only make sense in the Dutch language.)

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What do a squirrel and a cigarette have in common? -They are both perfectly harmless until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire.

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whats the difference between 10 Ferrari's and 10 dead babies ? i dont have 10 Ferrari's in my garage

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George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side.

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Roses are Brown Violets are Brown Whos been shitting on my garden??

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What did Helen Keller say to her friend? Nothing. If you didn't know, she was deaf and blind so she had to use Sign Language.

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four blondes where on their way to disneyworld they see a sign that say disneyworld:left so they turn around wondering where disneyworld went

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You're so vein you are probably a tube that conveys blood from various parts of the body to the heart.

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There's nothing more natural than the coals under the fire...

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How do you silence Justin Bieber? Hold his head under water until he stops struggling.

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knock knock who's there boo boo who why are you crying it's just a joke

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Whats the difference between Osama and Obama? The S is replaced with a B.

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How Do You Solve A Impossible Math Question? You Dont. cause its impossible.

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Q: What's worse than a pile of dead babies in a truck? A: A pile of dead babies in a truck with one alive in the middle eating his way out.

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How do you get a blonde's attention? Throw deodorant at her until she looks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops