Fox News

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What did the pirate say when his parrot died? Nothing. He was upset and didn't really feel like talking.

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What did the runner say after he ran 10 miles? I just ran 10 miles.

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Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

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Ask me if im a tree Are you a tree? No.

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Roses are red Violets are blue i have aides egg

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Just gonna stand there and watch me roar. But that's alright because I am a dinosaur.

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one man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. when he was drinking the beer he choked and died

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time to spruce up!

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I have a very serious problem with my narcolepsy. I occasionalolahdf;honainbirgnipqgierngiaqbhgpqruiph

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What's long, hard, and in my pants? The SAT's... I lied about it being in my pants.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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Face...the other white meat!

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have safe sex

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what do you call an icy road? dangerous.

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Roses are red, but there are also pink, white and yellow varieties Violets aren't blue, they're violet, hence the name I've got OCD And my poetry skills are also lacking.

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Q. Which famous celebrity has had the most children over the last 10 years? A. Michael Jackson

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How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

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whats worse than a baby in a dumpster? A baby in ten dumpsters.

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What do Barney and a butchers knife have in common? One of them is purple

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What's easier than a whore? Doesn't matter, your mom's a whore either way.

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A: Doctor doctor help me! B: Sorry, I'm not actually a doctor, stop calling me that!

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What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can? A dead baby in 10 trash cans.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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