What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

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Q: What's worse than ten babies tied to ten trees? A: One baby tied to ten trees.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue Oh, that's good to know.

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whats the difference between a black baby and a white baby? thier skin tone.

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What did Steven Hawking get for christmas? A bike.

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What do you call a guy with an ax in his chest? An ambulance.

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How did the frog fly? It drank a magic potion. How did the snake fly? It ate the frog How the the eagle fly? It already can.

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Why did your girlfriend dump you? because someone brainwashed this guy into believing this nonsense.

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Your mum is so fat that she finds trouble fitting through thinner doorways

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? ...Neither have they.

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Argon walks into a bar. The bartender yells, "Get the hell out!" Argon doesn't react.

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Name three similarities between racism and sexism I, S and M

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A man walks into a bar said man is escorted out of said bar said man may have died from a serious case of alcohol poisoning whilst in said bar he was escorted as dead people have trouble moving of their own accord experts discovered later that the man had actually been brutaly beaten by another man wielding a bar stool this shows that experts are not very smart

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Me John Kasich! Me win Ohio primary!

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what do you call a mexican with a rubber blanket cold

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Robocop The Reboot reboot. Watch as The friendly robot named Murphy, is violently broken down by a horrible shower of water, the only means to save him is to transfer his data into a human. He awakens again as Robofriendlydude (starring Adam Sandler) as a robot learns to love, learns to share, learns to dance with children in this years Reboot of the classic love comedy Robocop. PG-3 "So good I could only watch five seconds of it" Rotten potatoes. 99 percent fresh. "Kill me with a chainsaw" Honest reviews. "AWESOME!" Dishonest reviews "Makes Twilight seem like the better lovestory" Everyone.

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Q. What do you call a dog thats deaf? A. A horribly abused domesticated animal that needs a kinder owner.

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How many squirrels does it take to screw out a light bulb? None because squirrels lack the strength and mind set to screw out a light bulb.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? You provide him with a ladder of varying length depending on his height in the tree and hold the ladder to ensure that it is stable and safe while he is climbing down. If he his very high in the tree then it may be helpful to call the fire department for assistance in getting him down.

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Why is a cookie like a jellyfish? Because it has no bones. (Contributed by my 4-year old boy)

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Why did the fish fly It didn't

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Why was the black kid in the AP Calculus classroom? Because he was a very driven student, who studied hard so that he could attend a good University and build a good life for himself and his family.

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How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Well thats a stupid question, just one.

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Until further notice Penn State's take your child to work day has been canceled.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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