What did the dog say to the other dog? Woof.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? one, hes an electrician

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How does Lady Gaga like her meat? As a dress.

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today in aa we were telling stories one of them was: that a girl put a wet cat (to dry it) in the oven

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your mother. Please open the door. Your mother who? You were adopted.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman.

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A bloke walks into a bar. He doesn't say 'ouch' because it was a public house and not a hard surfaced object as you may have thought initially

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There were three men walking across the road and it started to rain

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What's worse than having to watch your dad rape your mom? Having to watch your mom rape your dad.

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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Why did the Chicken cross the roead? It didn't

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how do you stop a black man from drowning take your foot off his head

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? The chicken doesnt understand the concept of a street so it was most likely just wandering across the street

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How much wood can a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? The Holocaust

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Why did the Grizzly bear refrain from attacking the hiker? It didn't. The hiker was torn to shreds within minutes.

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what is worse than a hole in your sock? Getting raped

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a man was walking out side to get the news paper what happened next he picked up the newspaper

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What is big white and will kill you if it falls out of a tree in winter A refrigerator

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If life gives you lemons, You throw them as hard as you can at the nearest stranger. If life gives you melons, You're probably dyslexic.

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What do you call a person who is black? A black person.

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Why didnt Stevie Wonder wave back at the white man? Because he's a racist.

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Why did Kelly lose all interest in men? An aneurysm in her brain popped

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what did the man with Alzheimer's say to his son? who are you!?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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