Yo momma so fat, when she runs she makes the cd played skip, at the radio station!!!

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knock knock. who's there? just open. just open who? you're really dumb aren't you

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why was smokey bear sad? he got cancer from smokeing

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What did the man with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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How do you know you're on a blind date with a black person? If they agree to eat at KFC in Compton (Wyndellberg)

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A man cooks dinner almost every night even though his wife is the better cook, and the man is in charge of the household. Why? Because the man isnt a sexist douchebag.

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What's faster than the speed of light? Not a car

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Why was the women not in the kitchen? Because she was probably doing something else

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women are like buddhist shrines, you don't piss on them

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What did the teenage boy do when his mum was out shopping? Finish his homework.

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Cripples are lame.

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What does a Barbie Doll and Britney Spears have in common? They're both 100 percent plastic.

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On a scale of 1 to 10, 6 being the highest how confused are you?

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Know knock Who's there The fat lady off her medicine ball Call 000

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What did the cat say when someone pointed out that cats can't talk? Meow.

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Roses are red violets are blue next thing you know my D*** is in you

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what do black and white people have in common? when they dont wear sunscreen, they get sunburnt, except for black people.

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A woman is terminally ill in the hospital and her family is trying to decide what her last meal should be. Her older sister suggests tea and the idea is accepted enthusiastically. The other sister suggests making jasmin tea and the ill woman's son also suggests toast. The woman's husband looks down at the orange he had just peeled for his wife and looks up at the rest of them. moments later he shoots the three of them and then himself. All were found dead. http://www.dispatch.com/content/stories/local/2012/01/11/food-tiff-ends-in-deaths.html

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Billy was taking a stroll in the forest, when suddenly he met a bear. Billy remember what his father had taught him, and quikly lied down on the ground, pretending to be dead. The bear started licking Billy's face. Still he remained calm. The bear bit off Billys finger. Still he did not move. When the bear ate Billy's foot, he nearly panicked. But thinking of his wife and children he mustered his last remaining strenght, and did not move a muscle. If he tried to run or fight the bear he would surely die and never see them again. Then the bear ate Billys head.

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i dont care if you rate me or not

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Your feet are so big your gonna need bigger shoes.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because blind people aren't allowed to drive in the United States.

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What do blueberries, oranges, watermelons, doors, curtains, backpacks, spoons, asian men, bicycles, asian men on bicycles, shrimp, books, eagles, dinosaurs, watermelons wearing backpacks filled with shrimp and orange spoons, feet, limes, binders, paper, candles, chicken nuggets, tvs, chairs, floors, refridgerators, and humidifiers have in common? Barnes and Noble

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Why did the war end? Because one country surrendered. They were getting beat pretty bad, it seemed like the only viable option.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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