When A Shouty Man Goes Into His House. His Sister Nearly Kills Him So When A Shouty Man Goes Into A Library. The Books Try To Kill Him.

Barman: Why the long face? Horse: To support my twelve molars and twelve premolars which help me chew grass so I can swallow it properly.

What did the Catholic Priest say to Chris Hanson? Nothing. He attempted to flea, and was quickly taken down by law enforcement. He was then detained and processed and charged with Intent to commit statutory rape with a minor under the age of 14. He's still awaiting trial.

Chuck Norris walks in to a bar then many people greet him because of his celebrity status.

Why was Hellen Keller blind and deaf? Because she was a girl.

Did you hear about the guy in town living in a tyre, he got a puncture now hes living in a flat.

What do you say when a black person is walking through wal-mart? Prisoner

What happened when Johnny fell off of his bike? He suffered a very tragic and fatal brain hemorrhage resulting in a lower population by a minute percentile that is undetectable by the US Census.

Q-What's the good thing about dating a girl volleyball player? A- She's a Girl

a man walks in to a night club he can not danse so he just wachis pepol

Have you ever listened to the smell of the color 9? It tastes like freedom!

a man walks into a bar and buys a drink

Why is this joke an anti joke? Because it's not trying to be funny.

How many apples come from trees? None, not a single one of em'

Roses are red Violets are blue, Eat my anus with a spoon.

Roses are der Violets are eulb I am dyslexic

How do you get children to behave? Chop them up.

roses are red, violets are blue, hes for me not for you, if by chance you take me place, ill take my fist, and smarsh your face.

What do you do when you see a plumbers crack. Tell him he has another crack to fill

Why didnt the chicken cross the road? He was chicken.

Why does 1+1=2? Dunno, e-mail me if you do.

What did the Jewish man say to the banana? Nothing, because he has common sense

Why did princess diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing her seatbelt

What do an elephant and a can of soup have in common? They both can't ride a bike

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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