Have u ever noticed why a Police car siren isnt as loud as an ambulance siren? Do u know why that is? Because i dont, and i would like to know because my over active and curious brain is pounding through my skull and throbbing with question and wont stop until i know the answer!

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Why did the old man fall down the stairs and died? Because he had a stroke and never got life alert!

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man: im hungry can i have a sandwich wife: go make one man: then what are you gonna do

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Mets.

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PENIS that is all

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What is yellow and white and goes 150 miles down a railroad track? a duck.

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Pacient: Doctor Doctor i think im becoming a vegetable... because of my heriditory bone marrow mutation

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an ethopian thanksgiving

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Three blokes walk into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability.

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Why wasn't the woman happy when she gave birth? Because she was thrown into a pool of semen 9 months ago.

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What's worse than fingering your sister and finding your father's wedding ring ? 3 bee stings.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I like pussy Because it feels really good when I stick my penis inside her vaginal opening

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a man walked into a bar.the bar was metal and he cracked his skull

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no one can draw a perfect circle.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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But who would want to sell us out and why?

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Whats the best thing about having sex with twenty eight year olds? There's twenty of them.

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What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer? dinner

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Yesterday i ate an owl with all the feathers on it

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Mamma why did the kids make fun of me today? I dont know.

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What's purple, green, and orange? Dead baby with slashed floaties. What's black, purple, and orange? Same baby two weeks later.

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Alchohol.

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Why did the chicken crose the rode? Because there was a 10 foot scorpion chaseing it

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I will ask you one question, and that will determine whether you can enter Heaven." The man nods nervously. St. Peter asks, "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops